


Sticks and Stones

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-08
Updated: 2007-08-07
Packaged: 2018-09-06 01:26:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8729260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: "'It's Eric,' Jensen heard, and thank Christ Eric thought to say 'Listen, Jared's fine,' before he said 'but there's been an accident,' because all of a sudden Jensen couldn't hear much past the ringing in his ears."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

**Title** \- Sticks and Stones  
**Pairing** \- JA/JP  
**Rating** \- NC17  
**Word Count** \- 22,000  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_**Sticks and Stones**_  
  
  
  
Jensen was in his trailer running lines when he got the call.   
  
"It's Eric," Jensen heard, and thank Christ Eric thought to say "Listen, Jared's fine," before he said "but there's been an accident," because all of a sudden Jensen couldn't hear much past the ringing in his ears.  
  
Jensen picked up little pieces of Eric's side of the conversation. Car accident. Broken leg. But nothing was really sinking in. They were just words that were all jumbling together in Jensen's head, and all he could think was: _Jacket. Where's my fucking jacket because I gotta--_  
  
"I'm leaving now," Jensen said when he found his jacket and keys. "Eric. I'm sorry but I have to--"  
  
"Gimme two minutes," Eric interrupted. "I'll drive you."  
  
*  
  
Jared's body was too big for the tiny hospital bed. His skin was the same pasty grey color as the sheets. Jensen leaned back in his chair and rubbed a hand over his face. He wasn't even sure how long he'd been watching Jared sleep, but it had to be a few hours at least. Jensen cracked his neck to the side and yawned.   
  
There was a TV hanging in the corner of the room, but Jensen didn't want to turn it on and wake Jared up. He was going to need a lot of sleep the doctor said. A lot of rest, a lot of time keeping his leg elevated. They wanted to keep him for a day or two to monitor anything going on in Jared's head.   
  
(Eric tried joking around, telling the doctors that if they found anything going on in Jared's head to let them all know because most of the time it was empty. And at any other time Jensen would have laughed, joked around with him too, but for some reason, today, he didn't find it all that funny.)  
  
So, in the hospital for two, three days at least. Eric told Jensen not to worry about anything. They’d just finished shooting before a short hiatus anyway, and he could fill in the last few scenes without either of them coming back for a while. In a few weeks when Jared was back on his feet they’d pick up again where they left off. Jensen had just nodded. _Sure_ , he told him. _That's fine._  
  
After they knew Jared was going to be okay - a little banged up and bruised, but relatively okay - Eric left. He offered Jensen a ride back but--  
  
"I'll just call for a car or something later on," Jensen told him.   
  
Eric nodded. "Tell him I was here and then call me later," he said. Jensen waved him off and went to Jared's room to wait for him to wake up.   
  
But that was hours ago, and Jensen was thinking now that maybe Jared was out for the night. They’d given him some pretty heavy pain pills from what the doctors were saying. Something for his leg and his head. Jensen should maybe just--  
  
"Hey."  
  
Jared's voice was so soft Jensen almost didn't hear him. He got up and stood next to the bed. Jared's eyes opened once, then slipped back closed.   
  
"Hey, man. Don't try and talk, all right?" Jensen kept his voice pitched low. He could hear a cart with a squeaky wheel being pushed down the hall outside the room. Jared's fingers curled in a fist on the bed.   
  
"What--" He looked like he was trying to open his eyes again, so Jensen stepped closer and covered Jared's hand with his.   
  
Jared was always warm, always. It was one of the things Jensen teased him about. He could never understand how in the middle of a cold ass Vancouver night Jared could be shooting a scene and come away from it sweating.   
  
Now though, his hand was cool under Jensen's palm. Jensen took a deep breath and curled his fingers around Jared's hand. "Listen to me." Jensen's voice was scratchy so he cleared his throat. "I said don't try and talk so shut the fuck up, all right?" Jared didn't say anything but the edges of his mouth twitched like he was trying to smile. "You had a car accident. Some dumb bitch ran a light but everything's fine. Your leg's broken and your truck's a fucking mess, but you'll be outta here in a day or so. Okay, man?"  
  
So maybe it wasn't the most soothing thing Jensen could have said. He'd had a hell of a day.  
  
Jared nodded a little though, and the next time he opened his eyes they stayed open. It was the first time since the whole thing happened that Jensen was able to recognize him. That he looked like _Jared_ , and Jensen finally realized just how freaked out he'd actually been all day, staring at Jared just lying in the bed like that.   
  
Jensen let out a deep breath. He squeezed Jared's hand and took a step back. "All right. I'm gonna go but I'll be back tomorrow. You want me to bring you anything?" He shrugged his jacket on. Patted his pockets until he found his cell phone and keys. He'd stop on the way home, pick up some magazines or something for Jared. Maybe some junk food if his doctors said it was all right.   
  
"Jen." Jared was struggling, trying to sit up. "Jen, wait."  
  
"Dude, what?" Jensen huffed and walked back to the side of the bed. The metal frame banged into his knees. "Man, you gotta relax. You're getting all worked up."  
  
"The dogs," Jared finally got out. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Like just saying the words made him tired. "Jen. Can you--"  
  
"Yeah, Jared. Listen." Jensen leaned closer and said quietly, "I'll go by your place and take care of the dogs, okay?"  
  
Jared was breathing hard, his chest rattling. "Right. Okay."  
  
"All right. But seriously." Jensen grabbed Jared's hand again but this time Jared flipped his hand over so their palms were touching. "Relax. Get some rest. I'll take care of the dogs and the house and everything and I'll be back tomorrow, okay? Just fucking sleep, dude."  
  
Jared's hand squeezed his. "Yeah. All right. Thanks, man."  
  
"Right." Jensen smiled and Jared weakly smiled back. "Now let me get the fuck out of here. I've been sitting here watching your ass sleep all day long."  
  
Jared's eyes slipped closed again, but he was still smiling when he whispered, "Fuck you," before falling back asleep.   
  
"Yeah. Whatever, dude," Jensen said quietly.   
  
*  
  
Jared rented a small house in the suburbs just outside the city where Jensen’s apartment was. At first, the studio had looked for the two of them to stay in the same building, but Jared needed a bigger place than Jensen did to store the truckloads of crap he always traveled with, along with having a place with a yard for the dogs.   
  
It was full dark by the time Jensen got to Jared’s, a bag of Chinese takeout in one hand, and Jared’s keys in the other. He’d stopped home to change because his jeans and t-shirt from the morning stunk like hospital. Plus, Jensen didn’t think he was ever going to be able to wear them again without thinking that something awful was going to happen. Jensen was a realist but he had a nasty superstitious streak.   
  
He jiggled the keys into the door and punched in Jared’s alarm code, then braced himself when he heard the dogs jump to their feet and start barreling down the hall.   
  
“Hey, hey.” Harley jumped up on his hind legs and leaned against Jensen with his front paws. He pushed his wet nose against Jensen’s shirt, and slobbered so much Jensen had to reach over and drop his bag of food on the side table to try and wrangle the damn dog off him. “Harley - _down_.” Jensen tried to make his voice as stern as possible, but Harley just looked at him, leaned back and barked in his face.   
  
“All right, get down.” Jensen managed to get Harley down on all four paws, then crouched next to him and scratched his head and the back of his ears. Harley whimpered happily, snuffling and pushing against Jensen’s hand, and Jensen laughed for what felt like the first time in days. “Hey, dude, where’s—“ Jensen twisted his head around to look for Sadie, and when he saw her, his voice got clogged in his throat.   
  
“Come here, girl,” Jensen said quietly. Sadie was standing behind Harley staring at the front door, body held pin straight. She was waiting for Jared, and the sight of her standing there had Jensen feeling as miserable and beat down as he did watching Jared lying in that damn bed all day.   
  
Jensen gave Harley’s head one last scratch, then walked over on his knees to Sadie. He tugged on her collar to get her to move. “Come on, baby. He’ll be home soon.” Sadie whined low in her throat, and Jensen scratched behind her ears, under her collar, letting her whimper and sniffle.   
  
Jared and his damn dogs. They were all too goddamned attached to each other. Jensen tried to get them to move a few times, but when it seemed like they were happy to just pile around the door, he finally gave up and sat down with them, cross-legged on the floor.   
  
*  
  
By the time Jensen got the dogs up and moving back into the kitchen, his dinner had gone cold. He checked the dog’s bowls, filled them up with food and water, and emptied Jared’s trash, adding his wasted dinner to the bag before he tossed it outside.   
  
Harley was eating like he was going to the chair, but Sadie just stood there, pushing at the bowl with her paw, and giving Jensen the saddest doggie eyes he’d ever seen. He didn’t know how Jared could stand it.   
  
“Now listen.” Jensen hunched down on the floor and looked Sadie in the eye. If anyone had told Jensen a few years back that one night he’d be on his knees trying to convince Jared Padalecki’s dog to eat a bowl of Science Diet, he’d have told them they’d damn near lost their minds. And yet, here he was.   
  
“I got one thing to do tonight, and it’s take care of you and Harley.” Sadie looked at Jensen and barked. He couldn’t believe this. He was talking to the damn dog. Jensen rubbed a hand over his face, told himself that it was fine, really, if no one actually _saw_ him doing it, and said, “Right. So how ‘bout you eat something, and then Jared won’t kill me when he comes home.” Sadie growled. Jensen narrowed his eyes. “I will bring you the biggest steak bone you’ve ever seen tomorrow, if you eat this bowl of food right here tonight.”   
  
Jensen was almost positive Sadie didn’t understand English, but the next time he pushed the bowl in front of her she lowered her head and ate something.   
  
He stood up and ran a hand through his hair. Jensen wasn’t sure, but he thought that bribing Jared’s dogs to eat might be a new low, even for him.   
  
*  
  
The next morning, Jensen was three doors down from Jared’s room when he heard Jared’s voice, loud and clear.   
  
“No, momma, really. You don’t have to—“ a pause and then, “I know. I know you worry. I _was_ paying attention. The other car—“   
  
Jensen rapped his knuckles lightly on the door and poked his head inside.   
  
Jared was sitting up, which was good. He already looked a thousand times better than the last time Jensen had seen him, pale and sickly grey lying against dingy sheets. Today, his face had two spots of color high up on his cheekbones, and he waved Jensen in as he was leaning back against the pillow and closing his eyes.   
  
“Yes, momma, I swear I’ll be fine. You don’t need to come up here. I _promise_.”   
  
Jensen chuckled softly. There was a small, metal chair next to Jared’s bed that Jensen knew all too well. He spun the chair around and straddled it, then tossed a few magazines and a bag of red licorice whips on the bed.   
  
Jared looked…not bad. Not great, but a hell of a lot better than Jensen had expected him to.   
  
His entire left side was fucked up. He’d been going straight through an intersection when the girl that hit him ran a light and slammed into the driver side of Jared’s truck. His left arm was bruised, left leg broken, and there was a welt on Jared’s chin and cheek to match the stitched up cut over his left eye.   
  
Today, someone had gotten him a headband and pushed all the hair off his face, showing the clear line of tiny stitches over his eyebrow. The scar would make him look tougher, Jensen would tell him. Like a streetfighter or something.   
  
The thing was, Jensen had seen Jared with fake blood and gore all over him more times than he could count. They were _actors_ , for god’s sake. But this time was different. This time it was Jared – not Sam, lying in the hospital bed – and Jensen’s chest clenched thinking of how badly he could have actually gotten hurt.   
  
“I will,” Jared said, his eyes cutting over to Jensen. He smiled, rolling his hand in the air as his mother kept talking. “Listen, I gotta go, momma, Jensen’s here.” Another short pause, and then Jared was turning pink, and saying, “I’ll tell him. Right. Okay. I love you too.” He hung the phone up and clumsily shoved it onto the nightstand before falling back onto the pillows.   
  
“Oh my god.” Jared started moaning and whining. Jensen was pretty sure it had nothing to do with any kind of physical pain. “Do you know how long it took me to convince her not to come up here? Holy shit.”  
  
Jensen shook his head. “She’s just worried about you. Ass.” Jared laughed quietly, then winced as he tried to move and sit up more. “Hey, hang on,” Jensen said. Jared was struggling, trying to push himself up on one arm, his face turning red from exertion. Jensen practically growled and leaned over, tugging Jared up carefully and moving around the pillows behind him. “Dude, quit it.”  
  
“Quit what?” Jared snapped, “ _Moving_?”  
  
“You were in an accident _yesterday_ ,” Jensen grunted. Great. Jared was making this impossible already. “Will you just sit still for a few minutes?”  
  
Jared huffed. If Jensen didn’t think Jared would try and deck him he’d have cracked up laughing, because there was nothing funnier than Jared trying to use his pissed off face. He looked like a pouting twelve year old.   
  
Jensen took one of the magazines he brought and tossed it on Jared’s lap. “Here. Some reading material. See how many times you can find your name in a teen rag.” Jared laughed quietly, but shifted around again, his face crunching in pain as he moved. Jensen reached out; he wanted to do something - something that would help Jared – but he didn’t have any idea what that would even be.   
  
“Hey,” Jensen said quietly. “You all right?”  
  
Jared licked his lips. Jensen could see the fine beads of sweat along his hairline. He was breathing rough and shallow from moving around even a little bit, and Jensen felt clunky and useless sitting next to him. He had no idea what to do.   
  
Jensen reached out and touched Jared’s arm, fingers brushing against his skin lightly before pulling back. “Jared?”  
  
“I’m good. Just a little achy and sore.” Which was a total lie. Jensen had eyes. He could see how much pain Jared was in. “I’ll be fine in a day or so.” Jared smiled tightly. “Doc said it could have been a lot worse.”  
  
Jensen nodded. He’d heard that too. Eric called him earlier in the morning to tell Jensen that if he ever planned on eating anything again, not to go to the body shop where they towed Jared’s truck to. “ _That’s nothing you ever need to see, Jen_ ,” Eric told him. Jensen wasn’t planning on testing that theory.   
  
When Jensen reached out again to touch Jared’s arm, he left his hand there. Screw personal space. Jared was hurt. “That’s what they were saying yesterday,” Jensen told him. He shifted a little closer, the chair scraping against the hospital floor.   
  
Jared turned his head where he was lying on the pillow and opened his eyes. “How’s stuff at my house?”   
  
Jensen smiled. Jared was transparent as glass. “The dogs are fine,” he said, grinning more when Jared blushed a little. “Harley couldn’t care who was feeding him, as long as someone was filling his bowl.”  
  
“Ungrateful mutt.” Jared’s voice was thick and slow. His eyes had slipped closed. Jensen allowed himself to ignore the part of his brain that was telling him to back up, back off. Jared was hurt, and Jensen felt like he earned this, for a little while, at least, and he let himself rub his thumb softly against Jared’s arm without pulling away.   
  
Jared was warm and soft under Jensen’s hand, and Jensen was sorry. He’d make sure to keep his hands to himself after today was over, but everything was still so new, still so scary, that his self-imposed, _Try and keep your hands to yourself no matter how friendly Jared seems_ rule was going to have to suck it.   
  
“Sadie, though,” Jensen said quietly. Jared’s mouth curved in a smile. He seemed to be falling asleep, so Jensen lowered his voice and kept talking. “She’s one hell of a daddy’s girl, ain’t she?”  
  
“Yeah.” Jared licked his lips. “She’s my girl.”  
  
“She wouldn’t do anything, man. Wouldn’t leave the door, wouldn’t eat at first. Just stood there, waiting for you.”   
  
Jensen could hear doctors being paged up and down the hallway. People were walking around, talking to each other outside Jared’s room, but between them, it was quiet, light shining in through the window blinds.   
  
“You get her to eat something?” Jared mumbled.   
  
Jensen smiled. Even half-passed out Jared was worried about the dogs. “Yeah, dude. I got it covered.” Jensen didn’t need to tell him that he had to bribe the damn dog to eat her dinner. He’d just stop at the pet store on the way home, buy the bone he promised her, and be done with it. No harm, no foul.   
  
Jared opened his mouth to say something else, but before he got the chance he was snoring, loud and nasal in the small room. Jensen sat there while he slept, not saying anything. Just watching the slow rise and fall of Jared’s chest.   
  
*  
  
Jared would be released in the morning. Jensen hung around the hospital long enough to talk to Jared’s doctor (and thank god for Eric somehow listing Jensen as a contact for Jared on the paperwork or he would have had to kill someone to get some information) who told him that Jared would be uncomfortable for a while. He’d be in some pain, but he’d be able to go home in the morning, as long as he promised to stay off his leg and not overexert himself.   
  
Since Jensen planned on enforcing every one of those rules, he thought that seemed to work out perfectly.   
  
He left while Jared was still sleeping, and made a quick pit stop at the pet store to get bones for Sadie and Harley. Then it was back to Jared’s place for the rest of the afternoon.  
  
When Jensen unlocked the door, Harley came bounding over like normal. Jensen crouched down and scratched his head, then gave him his bone which he slobbered over happily in the middle of the hallway. Jensen would have to remember to clean up the mess later. The last thing he needed was Jared coming home the next day and slipping in a puddle of dog spit.   
  
Sadie didn’t even get off her doggie bed when Jensen walked in the house. Just lifted her head, saw who was standing there, and pushed her face back into the cushions and whimpered. Thank god Jared was coming home the next day. Any longer than that and Jensen was convinced he’d get to Jared’s to find a Dear John letter on the kitchen table, and Sadie’s bed empty.   
  
“I brought you a bone,” Jensen said, thinking she might get even a little excited over a two-foot steak bone in the house, something Jensen _knew_ Jared didn’t let them have. Instead she just lifted her head, barked at him once, then put it back down.   
  
Jensen put the bone next to her on the cushion and scratched behind her ears. “All right. I get it. Poor substitute and all.” Sadie sneezed at him and Jensen tried not to take it personally. “He’ll be home tomorrow,” Jensen told her, “And after that, you won’t have to see my sorry ass anymore. Promise.”  
  
*  
  
He wound up spending the day at Jared’s, because even if Sadie wanted nothing to do with Jensen, Harley couldn’t get enough of him. He followed Jensen around the house, so close on his heels he nearly tripped and fell over him a few times. Jensen refilled the dogs’ food and water bowls, then let the both of them out into the yard to run around for a little while.   
  
Jensen liked Jared’s house. It was small, but homey, with framed pictures of Jared’s family and friends all over the living room and den. The kitchen was tiny and cluttered, news clippings and receipts tacked up to the refrigerator with ugly magnets shaped like lizards and cowboy hats. The yard was a decent sized piece of property, with two matching dog houses and an entire crate filled with balls and Frisbees.   
  
Jensen stepped out onto the stoop and took a deep breath. The afternoon was nearly over, and the sun was dipping down low in the sky. He let the dogs run and play with each other, and was just about to call them back into the house so he could head home for a little bit when his phone rang.   
  
When Jensen saw the number on the display, he smiled.   
  
“They letting you make phone calls now?” he teased.   
  
Jared sounded even better than he had in the morning. “Yeah. It’s one of the perks of being a famous TV guy,” he joked.   
  
Jensen sat down on Jared’s stoop and cradled the phone against his ear. The dogs were still running and jumping at each other, and as Jensen watched, Harley leaped at Sadie and made her run away, barking at the top of her lungs.   
  
Jensen heard Jared suck in a breath and then ask, “Is that Sadie barking?”  
  
Jensen felt weird. He knew that Jared asked him to take care of the dogs the night before, but maybe going back today was too much. Maybe he was pushing it, overstepping his boundaries. There wasn’t any way to explain to Jared that he _had_ to go back today, because he’d bribed Sadie into eating her dinner the night before. That sounded close to insane.   
  
“Listen, Jared--” Jensen started.   
  
“ _Thank_ you,” Jared said, cutting him off. Jensen snapped his mouth shut. “Thanks so much for doing this for me, Jen,” Jared added. “You’re the best, man.”  
  
Because Jared would think that. He’d never think Jensen was doing any of this for himself. That Jensen was there because he needed to be around Jared’s stuff and Jared’s dogs to keep from going crazy thinking of all the things that could have gone differently or wrong in the past two days. Because Jared was selfless, and one of his biggest flaws was thinking that everyone around him was a good-hearted as he was.   
  
“No problem,” Jensen said, his voice ripped open and rough. The sun was starting to set, and he stood up and whistled for the dogs who came trotting over.   
  
“So hey. Can you come get me tomorrow?” Jared asked. Jensen let the dogs in the house and locked up the kitchen door behind him. A pizza menu stared at him from Jared’s refrigerator, and his stomach rumbled when he realized he couldn’t remember the last time he ate. “I could call for a car but I kind of wanted—“  
  
“I can pick you up,” Jensen said. It wasn’t like he’d be doing anything anyway, knowing Jared was on his way home. “What time are you being sprung?”  
  
“As early as possible, man. If you can get here at seven in the fucking morning, I can leave.”  
  
Jensen nodded. “I can do that.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Sure.” What the hell else was Jensen doing? “Seven is good?”  
  
“Yeah.” Jared was quiet for a second, before he said, “Hey, Jensen?”  
  
“Yeah?” Jared sounded like he was getting ready to ask something, or say something, and Jensen didn’t know what the hell could have Jared sounding so weirded out.   
  
“Nothing, man. Forget it.”  
  
Jensen leaned back against Jared’s kitchen counter and crossed his legs at the ankles. “Right. Come on. Spill.”  
  
Jared laughed, easy and quiet. “It’s so stupid, but,” Jensen heard him take a deep breath, and than say in a rush, “Could you maybe stay at my place tonight? Do you mind? You could leave for the hospital from there tomorrow morning, but I really don’t want to leave the dogs by themselves two nights in a row.”  
  
Jensen grinned so hard his face started to hurt. “Such a fucking pushover.”  
  
“Fuck you, man,” Jared said, but Jensen could tell he was smiling. “I hate to ask, but you’re such a loser you probably don’t have plans tonight anyway—“  
  
“Oh, that’s cold.” Jensen kicked off his shoes. He knew he was staying. He didn’t know why he was pretending he wasn’t. “I’ll do it, but only because you’re dogs are pitiful, man. With those big, mopey eyes…”  
  
Jared laughed, clear and bright. “Thank you. Jesus, man, I owe you one.”  
  
“Yeah.” Jensen pulled down the pizza menu and started to figure out what he was going to get for dinner. “And don’t think I’m not gonna collect. Bitch.”  
  
*  
  
Dinner was some pizza, half a six-pack, and three hours of _Seventh Heaven_ reruns on TV. The dogs fell asleep in a pile at Jensen’s feet around ten o’clock, and Jensen rubbed a hand over his eyes and yawned before standing up and heading to bed.   
  
He was shot. Two days of nothing but stress and emotional bullshit was enough to get anyone going, even someone who pretended to be completely low-key like himself. Jensen felt like he needed a vacation from what his life had turned into the past few days. He hoped that once Jared was home where Jensen could keep an eye on him, things would get back to normal.   
  
Jared’s house had a master bedroom and a small guest room across the hall from it. Jensen pushed open the door to the guest room, and eyed the boring, small bed with its blue plaid comforter blandly. He’d spent more nights than he could count on that bed, too drunk or tired to get himself home for the night. Every time he stayed over he woke up the next day to the sound of Jared snoring just across the hall, or the TV playing morning cartoons from the living room while Jared napped on the couch with the dogs’ heads in his lap.   
  
Tonight would be different. It was just him and the dogs; no Jared, no other person snoring.   
  
He pushed open the door to Jared’s bedroom, telling himself that he was just going to go in and grab a pair of sweatpants to sleep in. He wasn’t snooping or being creepy. He just needed something other than the jeans and t-shirt he’d been wearing all day, and Jared had about fifteen pairs of clean sweatpants stacked up in a laundry pile from earlier in the week.   
  
Even as he walked into the room, Jensen knew he was lying to himself.   
  
He changed his clothes quickly, leaving his own stuff in a heap on the floor. Jared’s bed was still messed up and unmade from the day of the accident. Burgundy sheets and comforter pushed in a jumble to the bottom of the bed, and the pillows all mashed up against the headboard the way Jared liked to sleep. Jensen sat on the edge of the mattress, pulled off his socks, and stopped lying to himself that he was going to go sleep in the guest room. That he was leaving Jared’s bed any time soon.   
  
Jensen had to stop lying to himself about a lot of things, actually. It was second nature, by this point. Him and Jared had been friends for so long that half the time Jensen barely remembered the truth himself anymore. He’d spent so long – so many months and days and weeks burying everything he really thought and felt – that even trying to let himself remember now, he almost couldn’t do it.   
  
He turned his face into Jared’s pillow, smelled Jared in the thick cotton sheets. His sweat and shampoo and cologne trapped in the fabric, and in a split-second, Jensen was instantly, blindingly hard.   
  
“Shit,” Jensen whispered, because he didn’t need this again. Not here, not now.   
  
There wasn’t any stopping it, though. The minute he decided to lie down in Jared’s bed was the minute he gave up any pretense of this being something he was doing for someone who was just his friend, his co-worker, the guy he hung around with after work and on the weekends.   
  
Jensen closed his eyes and knew that this was all because it was Jared. That everything Jensen ever did was because of him.   
  
His hips shifted, and Jensen moaned softly, forcing his eyes open to look around, hoping that the reality of the situation would somehow squash the bone-deep want he felt staying in Jared’s house, in his clothes, his freaking bed. It didn’t work – not even a little bit – and Jensen was harder, needier, wanting more than he had in longer than he could remember.   
  
He’d wanted Jared from the first minute he saw him, but Jensen knew what people said about him after the past few shows he’d been on, and he swore he wasn’t going to let that happen again. Plus, if the bullshit rumors about him and Jessica caused that much of a shitstorm, Jensen couldn’t imagine what rumors of him and _Jared_ would do. Jensen liked guys all right, but not everyone in the greater Hollywood area needed to know that.   
  
Plus, there was the fact of Jared being straight (or at least that’s what Jensen figured), taken (up until recently, and the one thing Jensen wanted to be less than an experimental fuck was a rebound fuck), as well as being a genuinely nice guy.   
  
That was the part Jensen still couldn’t get over. For all of everyone else’s bullshit in the industry, Jared was actually a _nice_ guy, and Jensen didn’t want to fuck with that, in any way at all.   
  
So he said and did nothing. Kept his mouth shut and his hands to himself, and if every once in a while he found himself drunker than he should have been and thinking about things he wanted but couldn’t have, well, that was life. Jensen would just have to keep on dealing with it.   
  
A night in Jared’s bed, though, was looking like it was a little too much, even for him.   
  
So Jensen decided: _fuck it_ – just for the night. He’d wanted this for so long, and in the end it wasn’t hurting anybody, right? Then tomorrow he could pretend that it never happened.   
  
He rolled onto his back, and pushed Jared’s sweat pants down his hips. Jensen was sweating already, his heart racing triple time in his chest. Part of him felt guilty but the rest of him just _wanted_ , and for the first time in forever, he let himself want.   
  
He thought about Jared’s hands. About his smile and his wide mouth. The way he’d toss the hair out of his eyes, and reach across the front seat of the Impala when they were shooting, poking Jensen in the exact spot in his ribs that had Jensen barking out a laugh so loud they had to redo the whole take.   
  
Jensen wanted Jared so much sometimes he thought he’d go blind with it. Wanted to feel Jared’s weight against him, pushing him down onto the bed, or against the couch cushions, or over the kitchen table. He wanted Jared’s mouth on him, slick and wet, his tongue wrapping around Jensen’s dick, letting him fuck Jared’s mouth, his hair silky and fine in Jensen’s hands.   
  
He wanted to hear Jared saying his name the way Jensen would moan Jared’s; low and broken, laced with need and something deeper and darker than that. Jared hard against Jensen’s hip, fucking against him, his smile slow and easy against Jensen’s throat, and he’d say, “Yeah, Jensen, come on—“ and Jensen would claw at Jared’s back and come in his hand or on his belly or in Jared’s pretty, pretty mouth.   
  
Jensen couldn’t stop thinking about it – how it would sound and feel and taste – and that night, when he came lying in Jared’s bed, with his pants kicked and twisted in the covers, he doesn’t let himself feel guilty at all.   
  
Tomorrow everything would be back to normal. He’d pick Jared up. Be the best friend, the good guy, and forget all about the way he felt sometimes when Jared stood just a little too close to him for a little too long.  
  
*  
  
Jensen left for the hospital a little before seven. When he got there, Jared was sitting up in bed waiting for him. Jensen had a bag of Jared’s clothes in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. A big cup of coffee. He didn’t get as much sleep as he’d have liked the night before and he was shot. Sleeping in Jared’s bed apparently wasn’t one of Jensen’s better plans.   
  
Jared eyed the bag and grinned. “More presents?”  
  
“Clothes, ass.” Jensen tossed the bag on the bed, smiling when Jared poked inside. “Unless you _wanted_ to go home in a hospital dress.”  
  
Jared didn’t answer, just pulled out the flannel shirt Jensen had packed and flapped his arms around trying to put it on. He must have been sore as hell and could barely dress himself. Jensen watched for a minute – after all, he had to get his fun someplace – but when Jared’s cheeks started to flush pink the more he struggled, Jensen gave up. Christ, Jared was pitiful.   
  
“Here. Lemme do it.” Jensen put his coffee on the side table and took the shirt from Jared’s hand. He held it out so Jared could slip his arms into the sleeve, then straightened the collar, the shirt hanging awkward over Jared’s tapings and bandages.   
  
Jared blew the hair from his eyes. “Thanks, Jen,” he said quietly.  
  
Jensen nodded and took a breath, ignoring the way being this close to Jared made his stomach flip. At work and during shooting they’d been up against each other more times than Jensen could count. Jared being messed up and sleepy looking from the accident shouldn’t make that much of a difference. It pissed Jensen off that it did.   
  
Then Jared pulled the pair of sweat pants from the bag and grinned up at him, bright and huge. “You’re gonna help me get these on too, right? I got the oldest nurse in history, man,” he said with a shudder. Jensen smiled tightly and nodded. Sure, he’d help Jared change his pants. Jensen’s life had pretty much never been fair. Why would it start now?  
  
*  
  
“You’re driving like my grandma,” Jared huffed from the backseat. Jensen would have caught his eye in the rearview mirror and flipped him off, but if he did that he’d be taking his eyes off the road, something which he wasn’t planning on doing anytime soon with Jared in the car.   
  
Jensen tapped his fingers against the steering wheel and came to a full stop at the sign on the corner. He checked both ways, inched forward, then checked both ways again because you could never be too careful. When a balled up paper bag from the backseat hit him on the back of the head, Jensen looked over his shoulder long enough to throw Jared a glare, then had to check both ways again before pulling forward.   
  
“ _Dude_.”  
  
“So, Jared, did you call that nursing service yet?” Jensen ignored Jared’s huffing and complaining. It wasn’t like he could drive himself anywhere any time in the near future. He’d just have to deal with Jensen’s grandma driving or wobble around by broken foot if he didn’t like it.   
  
Jensen heard Jared sigh and risked a glance at the rear view mirror. Jared has he head bowed, and all Jensen could see was the top of his messy hair. “Not yet.”  
  
Jared mumbled something else which Jensen couldn’t hear over the radio. He turned it down and said, “What?”  
  
“Nothing, I just—“ Jared looked up and blew the bangs from his eyes. “Can we talk about it when we get home?”  
  
Jensen’s eyebrows hit his hairline, but he nodded and said nothing. He had no idea what Jared was fishing around for, but something told him that whatever it was, it was bound to make Jensen’s life even more difficult. Perfect.  
  
*  
  
Jared leaned on Jensen’s shoulder as Jensen fucked with the alarm code and the key in the lock. “I put the gate up in the living room before I left,” Jensen said, finally unlocking the door and pushing it open. The house smelled faintly of cleaning product and burnt coffee, both thanks to Jensen.   
  
Jared looked at him like he’d gone insane. “Why?”  
  
“Because of this,” Jensen said as he led Jared down the hall, letting him rest most of his weight on Jensen’s shoulder. When they turned the corner, Jensen heard Jared say, “ _Oh_ ,” and he smiled.   
  
Harley and Sadie took one look at Jared standing there, and promptly lost their shit. They were almost trampling each other in their excitement, barking and whining at the top of their lungs.   
  
“I figured if I let them loose they’d knock you to the ground and break your other damn leg,” Jensen shouted. Jared was shuffling forward and bracing his hand on the gate as he bent over, rubbing Harley’s head and burying his face against Sadie’s neck. Jensen leaned back in the doorway and folded his arms across his chest. He felt like he was turning into a fucking girl, but watching Jared and his stupid dogs was one of the best things to happen to Jensen in the past three days.   
  
When Jared stood up, he was smiling, one hand still buried in Sadie’s fur. “Good thinking,” he said. Jensen nodded and ignored the way Jared’s voice was a little too soft and thick. Hell, he’d been an emotional wreck himself with the damn mutts since he’d been staying at Jared’s. He figured Jared had earned a moment or two.   
  
“So, all right.” Jensen walked over to the gate and flipped the locks, looking Harley in the eye and saying, “Be _good_ when I let you out.” The dog seemed to almost nod – no shit – and when Jensen opened the gate they both managed to contain themselves, gently nudging Jared’s good leg and side. “A nurse, Jared. Gimme the number if you don’t feel like calling and I’ll call them for you.”  
  
“Yeeeeah.” Jared gave Jensen a small smile before looking away. “That’s kind of the thing.”  
  
“What?” Jensen had no idea what Jared was talking about. He’d been avoiding the whole home nursing issue since they left the hospital.   
  
“Can we sit, man? My leg is kinda—“  
  
“Yeah, sure. Sorry.” Jensen helped Jared over to the couch and tossed a pillow on the coffee table for Jared to rest his foot on. Jared looked tired already. Just a few hours of being up and moving, and there were puffy bags under his eyes and lines at the corner of his mouth. He leaned his head back into the cushions and let out a long, slow breath.  
  
“You need anything?” Jensen asked. He felt like an idiot for not asking sooner. “One of your pills or a drink or—“  
  
“’M’good.” Jared lightly punched Jensen’s leg, then left his hand there. Jensen could feel it like a brand against his thigh. “Jen—“  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
Jared turned his head so he was looking straight at Jensen and forced his eyes open. He blinked slowly, and Jensen had to practically sit on his hands to keep from reaching out and touching Jared’s forehead and cheek. He wanted to kiss Jared so badly his breath shook, and he looked away before he did something stupid that he’d regret for a hell of a long time.   
  
“Nothing, just—Can you stay?” Jared’s eyes slipped closed, and before Jensen could answer he added, “For a few days, I mean. If you can’t that’s cool and I’ll call a nurse, but all she’s going to do is hang around and make me feel like an idiot. I figured, hell, you’ve already gotten me dressed today, right? How bad could a few more days be?”  
  
Jensen swallowed hard. Jared was right, of course. A nurse wasn’t going to do anything except help Jared get showered and dressed every morning and make him feel like a clod. Jensen could do that and he wouldn’t even charge Jared a thousand bucks a day.   
  
But on the other hand, staying with Jared – with Jared right there – god. That was more than Jensen had been expecting to deal with. It had been hard enough being in Jared’s house without him the past few days, but having to do it with Jared right there? Jensen was a gentleman, but he sure as hell wasn’t a saint. God knew how that was going to work out.   
  
“Jen?” Jared was looking at him again, and Jensen shook his head. Like there was anything he would ever say no to Jared about. Who the hell was he kidding?   
  
“Yeah, Jared. I can do that.” Jensen ignored the way he voice was so rough he barely recognized himself. Jared looked like he was nearly sleeping again already so Jensen was sure he didn’t notice, either.   
  
Jared’s hand squeezed Jensen’s thigh, before slowly slipping away. Jensen blew out a long breath and rubbed a hand over his face as Jared started to snore. This was going to be a hell of a week.  
 


	2. Chapter 2

**-Part 2-**  
  
  
When it was obvious that Jared was sleeping and not going to be getting up anytime soon, Jensen covered him with a blanket and made a pot of coffee for himself while making some phone calls.   
  
He called Eric and gave him the update on how Jared was doing and that he’d be staying with him for the next few days at least. He called Jared’s mom who thanked him a thousand different ways for taking care of her baby (a fact which Jensen would make sure to tease Jared mercilessly about later), and he called Sandy and left a message on her cell phone, even though Jared had said not to.   
  
“No, Jensen. She’s filming in England and I just – I don’t want to do that to her,” Jared had said the other night in his hospital room.   
  
Jensen thought Jared was wrong and told him so. Even if Jared and Sandy had been broken up for the past few months, they’d been together for years. She’d want to know that Jared was in the hospital after an accident.   
  
Jared just shook his head, the stubborn bastard. “No.”  
  
“Dude, seriously. You’re in the _hospital_ ,” Jensen tried, hoping Jared would come around and see it Jensen’s way. “She at least deserves a phone call.”  
  
“Jensen, _no_.” Jared’s jaw was locked tight, and there were spots of bright pink high up on his cheeks. “Me and Sandy aren’t on the best terms right now and we just – we broke up, Jensen. Just leave it alone.”  
  
So Jensen had shrugged and pretended to forget about it until Jared was knocked out on pain pills. Then he went into Jared’s cell phone, took Sandy’s number, and waited until Jared was home, at least, to call and leave her a message. What was Jared going to do, anyway, beat Jensen over the head with his cast?  
  
He fed the dogs and let them out into the yard to run around for a while. Eric was working around his and Jared’s scenes for the next few days, but it wouldn’t be long before at least Jensen would have to go back to work. It was a nice day out and Jensen didn’t get many of those off no matter what reason. He was going to try and enjoy it at least a little bit.   
  
Everyone else they knew had already been called. Mike and Tom, everyone at the studio. Jared had even called Chad from the hospital the other night, and had to spend half an hour convincing Chad not to leave filming to come to Vancouver and see him.  
  
Jensen was secretly happy about that, not that he’d ever let Jared know. Jensen didn’t have a problem with Chad – he liked the guy fine – it was just that when him and Jared were together the whole night turned into a “Hey, remember when—“ kind of night, and Jensen wasn’t in the mood these days to paste a smile on his face and act like it wasn’t pissing him off. Jensen was a hell of an actor, be even he had his limits.   
  
He didn’t realize how long he’d been sitting on the stoop until Sadie came nosing over, pushing her snout against the palm of his hand.   
  
“Oh, so now you love me, huh?” Jensen teased. Sadie barked and not for the first time, Jensen was spooked by how it seemed like she really understood him. Crazy dog.   
  
“You two having fun out there? Should I leave you alone?” Jensen whipped his head around to find Jared standing at the door, talking through the screen. He jumped to his feet and whistled for the dogs who came bounding across the yard and up the steps.   
  
Jared stepped back and chuckled. “You don’t have to come in, man.”  
  
“You’re not supposed to be up and walking around, Jared.” Jensen was pissed. Did Jared _want_ to fuck his leg up even more? “You’re supposed to call me if you need to get up or want something or—“  
  
“Jensen, hey. Lighten up.” Jared was leaning against the kitchen counter, his face flushed and clammy looking. He was breathing hard, and his knuckles were white where he was gripping the edge of the counter. “I have the crutches they gave me.”  
  
Jensen glared as he wrapped Jared’s arm around his shoulders and walked with him to the table. He kicked out a kitchen chair and kneeled on the floor so he could get Jared sitting down with only a few grunts and groans. Stupid asshole. “If you need to get up you call me,” Jensen growled. “What the fuck do you think I’m doing here?”  
  
“Being a pain in the ass, I guess,” Jared snapped.   
  
Jensen whipped his head up. “Excuse me?”  
  
“Dude, listen.” Jared licked his lips. “I’m glad you’re gonna stay with me, man, and I will completely need your help. But I’m tired of lying around dong nothing. If I feel like getting up and trying to move around a little, you can’t give me a hard time, all right?”  
  
Jensen huffed. Jared was probably right, just—“In a day or so, ok? You’ve been home for three hours. Can you relax for the day and start trying to do shit for yourself tomorrow?”  
  
Jared looked like he was ready to argue, but he held Jensen’s eye for a minute and snapped his mouth shut. “Okay,” he finally said.  
  
Jensen breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing he wanted was Jared pushing himself and fucking something up more. He’d had enough of looking at Jared lying in a hospital bad. It wasn’t anything Jensen felt like doing again anytime in the future. “For today at least,” Jared added, lips curving in a slow smile.  
  
“At least the day. Deal.” Jensen leaned back onto his heels. He ran a hand through his hair and went to stand up when Jared reached out and grabbed his shoulder.   
  
“So, wait,” Jared said slowly. “Today I get to lay around and you’re gonna do everything for me? Is that the deal?” Jensen could tell from the way Jared was smiling that maybe he should have rethought this whole plan.   
  
“Yeah,” Jensen sighed.   
  
“Good.” Jared clapped him on the shoulder. “Then help me back to the couch and go get me a movie and some Chinese food, bitch. I’m starving.”  
  
Jensen moaned in defeat and got to his feet, slowly pulling Jared up from the chair. “I’m your friend, dude, not your maid.”  
  
“From where I’m standing, today there’s not much of a difference.”  
  
“I swear to god, Jared, when you get better I’m gonna kick your fucking ass.” Jensen laughed when Jared flicked him in the back of the head.   
  
“Right. I’ll be waiting for that,” Jared told him.   
  
*  
  
There were a lot of things about Jared that Jensen never knew until he moved in with him for a few days.   
  
Like the fact that Jared was a mean son of a bitch in the mornings. Woke up grumpy and snarling before his coffee, and Jensen having to help him wash his hair in the sink every day wasn’t making matters any easier.   
  
“I want to be able to take a normal shower again, is all,” Jared complained for what seemed like the thousandth time in two days. “Not this half in the shower, half out, wash my hair in the sink, shit.”  
  
Jensen resisted the urge to hold Jared under the faucet until he turned blue. It wasn’t an easy urge to resist. “Yeah, well, my goal in life wasn’t to be a shampoo girl either, so suck it up,” he told him, as he rinsed the shampoo from Jared’s hair.   
  
Jared also changed his mind. Constantly. All the time. About everything. Which Jensen never knew.  
  
“Should we get pizza tonight? Yeah? Oh. Cause maybe I want Chinese again. Except – well – okay. You’re right. Pizza is good.” A short pause, and then, “I mean, unless _you_ want Chinese.”  
  
Jensen just shook his head. Pizza. Chinese. It was all good. Usually he wound up going out and getting one of every single thing Jared had mentioned, that way Jared could pick and choose when it was time to eat. Jared seemed a lot happier that way anyway.   
  
“Chicken was a great call,” he told Jensen the night before as he chowed down on a fried leg. “You’re the best, man.”  
  
Jensen smiled and poked at his basket of wings. He knew what Jared liked, was all. There was nothing to it, really.   
  
The best part though was that Jared was a complete and total flake. From one minute to the next he’d forget everything - where he put the remote, the TV Guide, his can of Dr. Pepper – anything and everything that wasn’t nailed down. And that was while being laid up on the couch, with a broken arm and leg, and not able to move all that well. Jensen was scared to think of how bad Jared was when he was mobile.   
  
“Dude. Did you check the cushions?” Jensen huffed from where he was sitting at the dining room table, reading through a script for a new romantic comedy he was thinking of doing over the break. He could see Jared struggling trying to find whatever the hell he was looking for, but if Jensen had to get up one more time for some stupid ass reason, he was going to hurt someone. “That’s where you’ve been losing shit lately.”  
  
“Yes, I checked the—“ Jared stopped when Harley came over and laid his head on Jared’s good leg. “Oh.”  
  
“The dog had it again, didn’t he?” Jensen tossed his pen on the table and leaned back in his chair. His contacts had been bothering him being around all the dog hair, but now he’d had his glasses on for so long there was a permanent dent on the bridge of his nose. Jensen rubbed between his eyes and pulled the glasses off his face. “What was it this time, the remote?”  
  
”Cell phone,” Jared murmured. Jensen couldn’t see that well with his blurry vision, but it looked like Jared was listening to his phone, head tilted to the side. “I didn’t realize he—Oh! Oh, _shit_ , dude – this is _awesome_!”   
  
Jensen groaned inwardly. Whatever it was, he had a feeling it wasn’t going to be quite as awesome for him as it was for Jared. He slipped his glasses back on, and the grin on Jared face confirmed that in an instant.   
  
“Dude, Chad’s on his way!”  
  
*  
  
“Then – oh, god, Jared, remember that time when Lauren—“  
  
“Yeah - _yes._ With the hairspray and the cricket in the corner of the room, and she—“  
  
“It was in _flames_ , dude. Fucking fried that sucker.”  
  
Jensen rolled his eyes and sucked on his bottle of beer. He was waiting for either Jared or Chad to make a full sentence – just one – without finishing the other one’s first. Chad had been there for three hours and Jensen wasn’t sure he’d managed to spit out a complete thought yet.   
  
Which was fine. Jared was happy. Hell, Jared was happier with Chad here than Jensen had seen him on days. All Jensen got was Jared bitching and moaning and complaining. Chad got happy Jared, hopped up on pain meds, taking one stroll after another down memory lane.   
  
“You should have been there, Jen,” Jared said, punching his thigh lightly. Jensen turned his head and smiled – as close to a smile as he could manage – and nodded tightly. He was happy Jared was happy. He was. He’d just keep repeating that to himself so he didn’t somehow forget it.   
  
“Yep,” he said. “Sounds like it.”  
  
Chad was leaning back into the couch and grinning. He looked better than the last few times Jensen had seen him. More relaxed, for one thing. The lines around his mouth and eyes were gone, and his eyes were clearer and happier than Jensen had remembered. A thin rope bracelet circled his wrist and he had a weird nervous habit of hooking his thumb into it and contorting his hand in this bizarre position, but that was hardly a reason to not like the guy.   
  
Which Jensen did. Like Chad, that is. Anybody who could make Jared laugh like he was now, head thrown back and smiling wider than Jensen remembered seeing is weeks couldn’t be all that bad.   
  
“Chad, Chad, hang on.” Jared was struggling to lean forward to tell his story better. Jensen didn’t even think about it, just reached out and laid a hand on Jared’s back to help him sit up. Jared blew the hair from his eyes and said, “Thanks, man,” quietly. Jensen patted him on the back and ignored the way Chad was giving him the stink-eye from Jared’s other side.   
  
“We gotta tell Jensen the story about the time we broke into Alexis’ trailer and glued all the hangers in her closet together. That shit was hilarious.”  
  
Jensen gave a half-smile and sucked down the rest of his beer. Another Gilmore Girls story. He couldn’t wait.   
  
*  
  
Jared couldn’t drink when he was on his pain meds, but even stone sober he was dozing off well before Jensen or Chad.   
  
“M’sorry, buddy. I’m shot.” Jared’s voice was thick and slow as he leaned a hand on Chad’s thigh and tried to push himself to his feet. Jensen jumped up from the couch and hooked a hand under his arm. When Jared got tired he forgot how hurt he was and tried to do everything on his own. When he realized Jensen was helping him, he tilted his head up and smiled. “Thanks, man.”  
  
“You got it, Jared. Come on, lemme just—“ Jensen pulled Jared to his feet, still ignoring the weird look Chad was still giving him. He’d been watching Jensen all night, the creepy fucker, and even now he was squinting at Jensen as he helped Jared off the couch and down the hall to his bedroom. Whatever. Jensen would deal with him soon enough.   
  
He got Jared to his bedroom and propped him up on the edge of the bed as Jared struggled to stay awake. “Too much fun for you for one day, Padalecki?”   
  
Jared’s eyes were slipping closed but he still managed to flip Jensen off, even as he was yawning. “Fuck you.”  
  
“Right. Sure. Come on.” Jensen tugged the shirt from Jared’s jeans and maneuvered it up and over his head. “Help me out, Jared.”  
  
Jared’s answer was to fall back onto the bed the minute Jensen had his shirt off. “I just wanna sleep, Jen. I just wanna—“  
  
“All right. Come on.” Jensen lifted Jared’s legs onto the bed, and tried to pull Jared higher up toward the pillows. The thing was, Jared was a big guy, and when he was tired and half-passed out like this, moving his body was like moving a cement pillar. It just wasn’t happening.   
  
“Fine.” Jensen stood back and crossed his arms over his chest. Jared was lying diagonal across the bed, with the corner of one pillow under his head and his arms flung out wide to the sides. He was already snoring. Jensen just had to admit defeat and give up.   
  
He was pulling the blanket out and putting it over Jared’s legs and chest, when he heard a quiet whistle from the doorway.   
  
“Man. You’ve got it bad,” Chad said.  
  
Jensen ignored him. The last thing he was planning on doing in his life was taking any kind of advice from Chad Michael Murray. He took one last look at Jared, snoring and drooling with his mouth open, and turned around with the blankest expression he could manage on his face.   
  
“You need me to show you where the guest room is?” Jensen asked. He was trying to be polite. He really was.   
  
Chad smirked. “Nah. I’ve been here before.”  
  
Which was true. Jensen was being an idiot. “Right. Lemme just get my stuff out of there for you and—“  
  
Chad’s hand landed on Jensen’s arm when he was trying to push past him and out of Jared’s room. His eyes were a clear, shocking blue when he interrupted Jensen to ask, “Does he know?”  
  
Jensen wasn’t going to talk about this. Not with Chad, not with anyone. It was nobody’s damn business. He yanked his arm away and said, “Gimme two minutes and the guest room is yours.”  
  
Chad watched him for another second, before lifting his hand and raising it in the air. “Yeah. Sure. That’s fine, Jensen.”  
  
“Good.” Jensen was halfway down the hall when he added, “’Night, Chad.”   
  
*  
  
“So, what’s up? I thought you liked Murray.” Tom slanted him a look and dropped the golf ball on the tee. The day was as rare as a lunar eclipse: the two of them were off on the same day, _and_ the sun was shining in Vancouver. Jensen expected hell to freeze over next.   
  
Jensen shoved his hands in his pockets and watched as Tom pulled back and sent the ball flying over the green. “I do,” he insisted. “He’s a great guy.”  
  
Tom gave him a knowing smirk. “Except?”  
  
“Except nothing! He’s fine! Totally cool. Nice guy. Funny. Been Jared’s friend for years. Doesn’t leave the seat up after he takes a piss. What’s not to like.”   
  
The problem was, the more Jensen listed the things he liked about Chad, the less he liked him. Every time he thought of a good thing, the other side of his brain supplied an equally important bad thing. That’s the way it had been going since Chad got there two days ago. It was a vicious cycle.   
  
Plus, Chad was far too interested in Jensen, and Jensen with Jared. Every time he talked to Jared, looked at him, helped him do anything, Chad was there, shaking his head and smirking at Jensen like he knew way more than he was letting on. It was more than getting on Jensen’s nerves.   
  
“Right.” Tom jabbed Jensen in the back with his club. “Come on, move,” he said, then signaled to the caddies behind them as they started to walk. “Now you can tell me why you hate him so much.”  
  
Jensen looked off across the golf course and thought about his answer. Because Chad was friends with Jared first? Because him and Jared had history that Jared and Jensen would never have? Because Chad took one look at Jensen and knew, instantly, every fucking thought and idea in Jensen’s head, even though he’d never said them aloud to anyone, not even himself?  
  
Tom’s elbow jammed against Jensen’s ribs. He didn’t even look when he flipped Tom the bird and said, “I told you. I like him fine.”  
  
*  
  
A day of golfing turned into a night of drinking, and when Jensen got back to Jared’s it was well after one in the morning. He let himself in the house as quietly as he could, careful not to make too much noise and wake either the dogs or Jared up, neither of which would be any fun to deal with after a day of getting his ass handed to him on the golf course, and a night of trying to drink Tom under the table. He had to remember to stop going out with Welling. Things never ended well for Jensen when he did.   
  
The alarm beeped softly and Jensen turned the knob and pushed opened the door. When he found all the lights in the house still on, Jensen stopped still and blinked slowly. Maybe Jared and Chad were still up or—  
  
“You gonna stand there all night, Jensen?” Jared snapped. Jensen couldn’t see where he was at first, but that’s because it was the first time in days Jared wasn’t sprawled out on the living room couch, remotes and bags of Fritos strewn all around him.   
  
Instead, he was sitting in one of the formal chairs at the head of the dining room table, looking pissed as all hell.   
  
Jensen smiled. Nice. It didn’t take Chad long to fuck things up at all. “Where’s Chad?” he asked, because he could totally do this. He was the good friend. The nice one. Whatever Chad did—  
  
“He went and got a hotel room for the night.”  
  
\--Jensen could make sure to try and be on his side for a little while, just to make things look good, before totally turning on him when it was time to agree with Jared that Chad was a—  
  
“I told him to leave.”  
  
\--total dickwad asswipe who did nothing but start shit for himself and everyone around him—  
  
“’Cause I didn’t think you’d want any witnesses when I kicked your fucking _ass_.”  
  
\--and Jared would be so much better off without– wait, what?  
  
“What?” Jensen closed the door behind him and crossed into the dining room. Jared’s cell phone was lying in the middle of the table, and Jared looked at the phone, looked back up at Jensen, and glared even more if that was possible.   
  
“Dude, _what_?” Jensen leaned against an empty chair and was glad he stopped drinking an hour ago. He was having a hard enough time following this conversation only half-drunk.   
  
“Earlier, when Chad was here, I got a phone call.” Jared stopped there seeming to think that was enough.   
  
Jensen rolled his hand in the air and smiled weakly. “You gotta give me more to work with than—“  
  
“A phone call from Sandy.”  
  
Oh.   
  
_Oh_.  
  
“Yeah, Jared, about that—“  
  
”God _dammit_ , Jensen, the one fucking thing I said to you was that I _didn’t_ want to call Sandy.” Jared was pissed. _Really_ pissed, Jensen could tell. His face was flushed an angry red, and when he shoved back from the table and tried to stand up, Jensen could see his hands were shaking. Jensen didn’t think he’d ever seen Jared this mad.  
  
“Jared, here, lemme help—“  
  
“Back up, Jensen, or I swear to god.” Jared stood up shakily and pointed a finger at him. “Just gimme a minute.”  
  
Jensen nodded. The last thing he wanted to do was get Jared so angry he did something clumsy and got himself hurt again. The accident was bad enough. Jared accidentally injuring himself fighting with Jensen about his ex-girlfriend was ridiculous.   
  
“I didn’t want to call her because I didn’t want her to know. I didn’t want to _talk_ to her, Jensen, because we decided—“ Jared stopped then, and looked off to the side, fists clenched and jaw twitching. Jensen wanted to know why Jared was so pissed. What had happened between him and Sandy to make him not want to even speak to her now, but all Jared said was, “It was my decision to end it and I promised her I’d leave her alone, that I wouldn’t call her again and lead her on when I didn’t feel like that about her anymore, and you had no fucking right—“  
  
“Jared, I’m sorry, man, but she wanted to know, didn’t she?” Jensen truly believed that which was his only saving grace. “When she called, was she worried?”  
  
Jared pushed the hair off his forehead and huffed. “That’s not the _point_.”  
  
“Yes, Jared, it is.” Because if Jared was pissed, then so was Jensen. He grabbed the chair he’d been leaning against and yanked it to the side. It tipped back and forth for minute before finally righting itself without falling over. From the corner of the room Sadie whimpered and buried her nose against Harley’s side. Great. They were even upsetting the dogs.   
  
“You went out with her for years, dude, and I thought she’d be worried.” Jensen steadied his voice and pitched it lower. “Hell, I know how I felt, and _I_ was—“ he cut himself off before he went too far, said too much. He needed to stop. Just give up, let Jared think he was right, and move on.   
  
Jensen took a deep breath. Ran a hand through his hair and stepped backward. “You know what? Fine.” Jared was watching him carefully with slitted eyes. “You’re right. I was wrong. I didn’t want her to worry, but I apologize.”  
  
Jared wasn’t buying it. “No,” he said. He shook his head and said again, louder the next time, “No. It’s not all right. You were what, Jensen?” Jared took a wobbly step closer, and Jensen shook his head and went around to take Jared by the arm. Argument or not, he was there to help Jared for a reason, because Jared was hurt. Making him walk around on his own because they were fighting was just mean. “You said ‘you were’ and I want to know _what_.” Jared was so angry his voice was rough and shaking. He flipped his arm around and grabbed Jensen by the wrist, yanking him off unsteady feet so he nearly fell against him.   
  
“Jared, quit it.” This was too much. Too much energy, too much emotion. Jared was too close, and Jensen didn’t want him to know – couldn’t let him know how scared he was, how he couldn’t imagine ever having been with Jared like Sandy had been and not _knowing_ when Jared was hurt or scared. Jensen couldn’t imagine what that would be like, but to admit that all was opening himself up for so much more than he was able to deal with right now, he couldn’t do it.   
  
He licked his lips and looked Jared in the eye. “I said I’m sorry,” Jensen said, quietly. “I fucked up and—“  
  
Then Jared was yanking his wrist, pulling him closer. Jensen stumbled, and put a hand on Jared’s chest for balance at the same time Jared lowered his head and kissed him.   
  
Jensen froze. That was the only word for it. He’d thought about this so many times, for so many months, but this wasn’t what he wanted. Not here. Not now, like this, when they were fighting and angry with each other. He didn’t know why Jared was doing this, what he meant by it, but he was pretty sure it had to do with confusion or anger, and Jensen didn’t want that. He’d rather not have Jared at all than have him for the wrong reasons.   
  
But Jared’s mouth was on him. His hand was slipping up the back of Jensen’s neck, into his hair, and when he sighed against Jensen’s lips, there wasn’t anything Jensen could tell himself that could keep him from kissing Jared back.   
  
He felt dizzy. Jensen closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side to be able to kiss Jared deeper, harder, and Jared groaned low in his throat as his tongue swept into Jensen’s mouth. It wasn’t anything like Jensen had expected. Nothing that he ever could have imagined, because now he _knew_.   
  
He knew how Jared tasted and felt under his hands. He knew the sounds Jared made when he touched his cheeks and throat as they kissed. He knew how Jared put his hand on the back of Jensen’s neck, tugging him closer as he tried to sit back down on the dining room chair.   
  
“Jared, watch out,” Jensen murmured. He slipped his hands from Jared’s hair, and smiled as Jared blinked at him. “Here. Lemme help.” Jensen reached out and grabbed the back of the chair and lowered Jared onto it, his hands curled tightly in the front of Jensen’s shirt. Jensen closed his eyes and took a deep breath. They needed to talk about this. This wasn’t—  
  
“Jensen.” He looked down when Jared said his name. Jared’s skin was flushed, his eyes wide and almost glassy. He licked his lips and Jensen couldn’t look away from his mouth. “Don’t go,” Jared said. When he reached up and pulled Jensen closer, all he could do was sink to his knees and hope this wasn’t going to fuck everything up.   
  
Jared was kissing him again, though. Pulling him closer, up off the floor, tugging him toward Jared’s chest and sweeping his tongue in Jensen’s mouth stealing his brain of all thought and function. Jensen knew he should try and stop – stop Jared, stop this – but he wanted this for so long all he could do was close his eyes and kiss Jared back.   
  
Jensen touched Jared’s chest, felt the pound of Jared’s heartbeat under his hand. His body was so warm he felt like he was burning up. Jared spread his legs wider, slouched back into the chair, and moaned, long and low when Jensen slid his hand down Jared’s chest to the top of his pants.   
  
“God, yeah.” Jared sucked in a breath and hissed through his teeth. Jensen could see the outline of his cock though his sweatpants. The hard, hot line of him under Jensen’s hand. He cupped Jared lightly, then tried to hold him down by the hips when Jared nearly lifted off the chair.   
  
“Careful,” Jensen warned.   
  
“Dude, just—“ Jared’s head fell to the side as he took Jensen’s hand in his and pushed down hard on his cock.   
  
Jensen didn’t know who groaned louder, who shuddered longer, him or Jared. Jared was biting his lip, pushing up against both their hands, but all Jensen could think was: _Jared. This is **Jared**_ , and that fact alone had him harder, needier, than he could ever remember being.   
  
“Jen, god, I fucking—“ Jensen curled his fingers and squeezed, smiling as he felt Jared jerk and shudder and come, right there in his pants. His eyes were closed and his head tossed back. Jensen reached up and touched Jared’s throat, slick with sweat and hot to the touch, and dragged his fingers down until he was pressing against Jared’s fluttering pulse.   
  
Jared hauled him up by the arm, and kissed him, wet and dirty. His tongue fucked into Jensen’s mouth like a sin, like the filthiest promise, and his fingers had barely grazed the front of Jensen’s jeans when he was screwing his eyes shut and coming against the pressure of Jared’s hand.   
  
Jensen couldn’t hear anything except the two of them breathing, harsh and broken in the quiet of the house. All he could think was, _Oh, god. What the fuck have we done_ , but then Jared was touching Jensen’s face, his forehead, and he looked up and tried to smile.   
  
“Don’t look at me like that,” Jared said. His voice was rough and he cleared his throat sharply before adding, “It’s fine, Jensen. It doesn’t have to—“ he broke off and shook his head.   
  
Jensen watched Jared’s throat move. Felt the pressure of Jared’s fingers fall from his face, and finished saying, “It doesn’t have to mean anything. Right.”  
  
Jensen stood up. He was cold and clammy and gross, and all he wanted was a pair of clean boxers and to forget any of this entire day and night ever happened. He held out a hand and helped Jared get to his feet, giving Jared the best smile he had as he nodded toward the hall.   
  
“Come on. I’ll help you to your room,” Jensen said.   
  
Jared gave him a half-smile. “Cool. Thanks,” he said.   
  
Jensen nodded back, and if Jared didn’t look at him once the entire way to the bedroom, Jensen told himself that it didn’t bother him at all.   
  
*  
  
If Jensen was worried about things being different or weird after him and Jared fucked around, he didn’t need to be. Nothing changed after that night. Nothing at _all_ , which sometimes pissed Jensen off more than he wanted to admit, even to himself, because what the hell – did Jared just not care that something had happened? Was it all par for the course, a general, average day in the life of Jared Padalecki to have his co-star on his knees at his dining room table? Jensen wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to that question.   
  
Even when that fact bugged him, though – that Jared could be so blasé and nonchalant about the whole thing - Jensen was still able to be glad things were okay with them. He told himself that he’d rather have Jared acting fine and like nothing had happened, than him acting weird and treating Jensen differently.   
  
Most of the time he actually believed it.   
  
It had been a few weeks since Jared’s accident, and days like the one they were having today were more common than not. The two of them sitting on opposite ends of Jared’s living room couch, a huge bowl of popcorn between them. Jensen in sweatpants and a t-shirt with his glasses on, watching the football game and throwing things at the screen whenever the Cowboys fucked up, which was happening more this season than Jensen liked to talk about.   
  
There was another fumble on the screen and Jensen cursed and tossed a pillow across the room. “You should just disconnect the satellite, Jared. Who needs this aggravation every fucking week?”  
  
Jared laughed quietly. “Yeah, but then what would you be able to bitch about?”  
  
“I’m sure I’d find something,” Jensen mumbled.  
  
Jared looked like he was ready to say something back to Jensen, when Jensen’s cell phone rang from where he left it on the coffee table. He checked the number on the display before answering, flicking his eyes to Jared who was watching him curiously as Jensen said, “Hey, Eric,” into the phone.   
  
Hiatus was over, Ackles, Eric told him. He knew Jared was still out of commission, but they’d re-written a few of the upcoming episodes, made them more Dean-centric and were going to incorporate flashbacks of Sam, along with some un-used footage they had lying around from the first season. Jared could stay home still, but Eric needed Jensen back on set at five AM the next day, no questions asked.   
  
Jensen loved his job, and he loved Eric, but the phone call itself had him feeling stressed and he didn’t know why. When he realized it was because he didn’t want to leave Jared during the day, he cursed in his head that this was it; he was getting into this way too deep. Maybe some time and space would be good for them both.   
  
Jared was watching Jensen when he told Eric goodbye, and that he’d see him first thing in the morning. He ran a hand through his hair and looked to the side. Jensen could tell that Jared was upset, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Jensen wasn’t laid up or hurt. The show needed to go on.   
  
Which he told Jared. “I know, man. It just sucks, is all,” Jared said quietly.   
  
Jensen wanted to say something back. Something to make Jared feel better. Like: _Don’t worry, it won’t be the same without you anyway_ , or _It’s all right, Jared, I know how this must suck for you_ , or _I might sound a like a huge, hairy girl, but I’m going to miss you there, man._ In the end, though, Jensen didn’t say anything. Just nodded his head and looked back to the TV in time to see the goddamn Cowboys fumble again and lose another twenty yards.   
  
Yeah. Today sucked out loud.  
  
*  
  
Jensen wasn’t used to trying to fall asleep early anymore, and if he’d have known he was going back to work the next day, he might not have slept in until eleven that morning. Now it was just after midnight, and no matter what he did, he couldn’t fall asleep. He tossed and turned for hours, staring at the ceiling, forcing his eyes shut. Nothing was working and if he didn’t get to sleep soon he was going to be a zombie all day on set tomorrow.   
  
There was light coming from the living room as Jensen walked quietly down the hallway. He could see the dogs sleeping against each other on the huge dog bed Jared kept in the far corner of the room. As he watched, Sadie snuffled in her sleep and buried her head under Harley’s paw. Such a mushball.   
  
Jensen was pulling an old Rangers shirt over his head and heading to the kitchen for a bottle of water when he heard, “Hey, man. What are you still doing up?”  
  
He popped his head out to see Jared lying across the couch with the remote in his lap. Jared looked sleepy and tired – his eyes were puffy and his voice was soft and warm – but when he saw Jensen standing there he smiled, slow and easy.   
  
Jensen felt the breath get stuck in his chest. He had to physically stop himself from walking over and lying down with Jared on the couch. Just stretch out on top of him, pushing him down into the cushions, and pressing his lips to the warm skin of Jared’s throat. Jensen wanted that so badly he had to look away before he did or said something stupid.   
  
“Couldn’t sleep,” he finally answered, his voice thicker than he’d have liked. Hopefully Jared would think it was just because he was tired and not because he was thinking about how much he wanted to fuck Jared through the couch. Jensen was still trying to keep that fact under wraps. It was a normal part of his day now. Wake up, take a piss, try not to let on to Jared that he wanted to fuck him stupid. Easy as pie.   
  
Jared slid his legs to the floor and leaned back into the cushions. The light from the TV played across his face in flashes, making it impossible for Jensen to read his expression. Jared was watching him so carefully Jensen felt like he could see through him, into him, and he was terrified of what Jared was picking up.   
  
“Jen,” Jared said, licking his lips.   
  
Jensen took a breath and moved closer. “Yeah?” He was only halfway across the room now and he could feel everything start to change.   
  
The air was still and thick. Jared’s voice when it came again was unlike anything Jensen had ever heard. “Jensen. Come here.”  
  
Later, Jensen wouldn’t remember crossing the room. He wouldn’t remember what it felt like standing in front of Jared, his breath coming quick and sharp, or the sound he made when Jared reached out and put his hands on Jensen’s hips, pulling him closer. If Jensen didn’t remember how hard of a time he’d been having falling asleep, he’d have thought he was in the middle of a dream, everything happening with Jared just because Jensen’s brain wanted to believe it, not because it was real.   
  
It _was_ real, though. Jensen knew that by the feel of Jared’s hands on him, the heat of his mouth when he pushed up the bottom of Jensen’s t-shirt and ran his lips over the skin of Jensen’s belly, above his sweatpants. Jensen curled his hands on Jared’s shoulders and pulled him closer on instinct, shivering at the feel of Jared’s breath against his skin.   
  
“Jared,” Jensen choked out. He kneeled forward on the couch, and blew a shaky breath up at the ceiling. Jared’s fingers were light against his belly and sides. When he started to push Jensen’s pants down his hips, Jensen grabbed him by the wrists and looked down. Jensen wanted this, but he wanted Jared to be sure. He wanted Jared to know he had an out, if he wanted one. That he wasn’t expecting anything. “Jared, what are you—“  
  
“Let me do this,” Jared told him quietly. He looked up and blew the hair from his eyes, and Jensen couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and touching Jared’s forehead, the sweep of his cheekbones. Jared was his friend – his best friend – but Jensen had wanted this so much and for so long when Jared said, “Come on,” Jensen thought he was imagining it.   
  
He shook his head, confused. “You do this?” Jensen asked. In all the time he’d known Jared, Jensen had never thought – never had any indication that Jared—  
  
“Yeah, I do.” His cheeks flushed pink and he added, “I mean, not for a while and not a lot, but yeah. I do. I have”  
  
Jensen swallowed. “And you want to—“  
  
“With you, yeah,” Jared finished quietly.   
  
Jensen nodded and took a step back so he had both feet on the floor. He reached down to help Jared off the couch. If they were going to do this again, Jensen wanted to do it right. He didn’t want another quick, middle of the night fumble in the dining room. He wanted Jared in his bed; long arms and legs sprawled out, where Jensen could kiss and suck every inch of Jared’s skin if he wanted. Fuck work tomorrow and getting sleep tonight. Jensen wanted Jared, and he wasn’t going to have him half-falling off the couch in the middle of the living room.   
  
“Come on,” Jensen said, pulling Jared to his feet. Jared tilted his head and grinned at Jensen crookedly.   
  
“We going somewhere?” Jared asked around a smile.   
  
Jensen smiled back. “Hell yeah, we are,” he said, and tugged Jared back down the hall.   
  
*  
  
Jared’s sheets were cool, the bed still made from the morning. Jensen pulled the covers back and let Jared lay down first and settle his leg before climbing in bed after him.   
  
Once they were both lying down, all bets were off.   
  
Jared pulled Jensen by the shoulder so he was lying half under him. Jared kissed him, deep and hard. He moaned into Jensen’s mouth, touching every part of him that he could reach as he fucked Jensen’s mouth with his tongue.   
  
“I want you,” Jared whispered. “God, Jensen, I want you so fucking bad.” Jensen arched up against his hands at the words. Jared was touching him all over, his hands on Jensen’s chest, pushing his shirt up and over his head. He kissed Jensen’s throat, dragged his lips and teeth across Jensen’s nipple, as Jensen kicked his pants off and curled over and into Jared’s body.   
  
Jensen felt too strung out, too hot, too needy. He wanted Jared to touch him harder, wanted to feel Jared’s hands and mouth and teeth. He was never going to make it through the night, because this here, lying in Jared’s bed, was so much more than Jensen had ever thought about having. In Jensen’s craziest dream, he never let himself imagine this. It was almost too much.   
  
“Let me—“ Jared was breathing hard, his breath hot and wet against Jensen’s belly. He touched Jensen’s hips with gentle hands, ran the tips of his fingers over Jensen’s skin so lightly Jensen thought he was imagining it. He needed Jared. Needed him and wanted him and couldn’t fucking take not having him for another second.   
  
“Jared, yeah.” Jensen pulled him up by the hair and kissed Jared’s mouth. The leg with the cast fell against Jensen’s calf, and he huffed out a laugh because even in the middle of something like this, Jared was still _Jared_. “Dude. Are you sure you’re okay to—“  
  
Jared cut him off. “If you ask me one more time if I’m sure about this, I swear to god I’m not sucking your cock.”   
  
Jensen caught Jared’s eye and smiled. Lifted his hands over his head and said, “All right, all right. Don’t let me stop you.”  
  
Jared gave him a wicked smile before crawling back down Jensen’s body. He could feel the heat from Jared’s mouth, the touch of his hands. Jensen told himself that he was cool, he was fine, he could totally fucking handle this when—  
  
“Oh, _god_.” Jared did nothing more than touch his lips to the head of Jensen’s cock and he nearly blew his load right there, all over Jared’s pretty mouth. “ _Jesus_.”  
  
“I didn’t even do anything yet, man,” Jared murmured, before leaning over and sucking Jensen deep into his throat.   
  
Jensen moaned like he’d been shot. Jared’s mouth was fucking perfect. It was the most perfect thing in the history of forever, hands down. Jensen couldn’t think or speak or move, it was so amazing, and Jesus god, when he was able to make a full sentence he was planning on telling Jared just that.  
  
Jared’s arm was pressed against Jensen’s hips keeping him pinned to the bed, and he sucked Jensen’s dick like he’d been doing it for years. Like he watched every cocksucking porno out there, picking up the best moves and techniques he could find.   
  
Hot and wet, Jensen felt Jared’s tongue curl around him, and he couldn’t help it. He thrust up hard into that heat, needing to go deeper, harder, feel more around him. Jared’s hand was wrapped around the base of his cock, and he was jerking Jensen off slow and steady as he gave him the dirtiest, hottest blowjob Jensen had ever had, hands fucking down.   
  
“Jared – Jared, yeah. I want – oh, god.” Jensen wanted Jared’s teeth, his fingers twisting and buried deep inside him. He wanted to fuck and get fucked, and he wanted it all now, before something happened and they changed their minds or lost their nerve or someone woke the fuck up and realized that this was maybe the stupidest thing in the world they could be doing.   
  
Jensen tried to pull Jared up, he could feel Jared’s hips moving against the mattress, and Jensen wanted to see him when he came. He wanted to feel Jared in his hand and jerk him off, suck his cock, drive Jared crazy until he lost his mind and came all over Jensen’s face and chest.   
  
“Come on,” Jensen whispered. Jared sucked his dick harder, deeper, and when he sucked a finger in his mouth alongside Jensen’s dick, Jensen’s hips lurched off the bed he wanted him so bad. “Do it, come on. Fuck me. God, please, Jared—“  
  
Three seconds after Jared slipped his finger out and along the crease of Jensen’s ass, Jensen was digging his fingers into Jared’s shoulders and coming in Jared’s hot, wet mouth.   
  
“So fucking hot,” Jared murmured, and then Jensen was pulling him the best he could, trying to move him so his cast and all of his body parts were in the right place for Jensen to do whatever he could to make Jared come right fucking then.   
  
“What do you want?” Jensen whispered. He’d laid Jared out on the bed and was touching his chest with shaky hands. “My mouth or—“  
  
“Your hand. Jensen, god, just—“  
  
Jensen bent his head to kiss Jared’s mouth and curled his fingers around Jared’s dick. Jared jerked up into his touch, his fingers twisting in Jensen’s hair, and all it took was a few hard, fast strokes, the pressure of Jensen’s hand, and Jared was biting his lip and coming all over Jensen’s fingers and fist.   
  
He knew he had to get to sleep, he really did, but watching Jared come like that – his skin flushed a dusky pink and gold, lying on the rumpled sheets and breathing out Jensen’s name - had him as hard as he’d been when this all started. He touched his mouth to Jared’s again, and smiled when he felt Jared’s fingertips brush against his cock.   
  
“Dude,” Jared said, chuckling softly. “Again? Really?”  
  
Jensen wanted to joke around – say something light and funny – but Jared blinked up at him and all Jensen could think was, _Finally._   
  
The back of his throat burned and he licked his lips. “Jared.” Jared looked up at him and the smile on his face slid into something more. When he touched Jensen’s cheek, Jensen dropped his head, letting Jared’s fingers curve around the back of his neck. “Jared, I want--“  
  
Jared pulled him down slowly, letting them both feel every inch of their skin as they pressed together. “Okay,” he said against Jensen’s ear. “Come on, baby. We can do this.”  
  
There was nothing Jensen wanted more than this. Jared’s good leg slipped between his, and Jensen slid his dick through the sweat slicking Jared’s hip, settling a hand against Jared’s side and tugging him up closer. Jared hissed out a breath when Jensen swept his hand down and brushed against his cock. Jared was hard again too, and Jensen pushed up so he could look at Jared’s face, watch his eyes and moved against him.   
  
He could feel that every single thing he’d ever wanted to say, everything he’d ever wanted to tell Jared, was written across his face. Breath stuttered in the back of Jensen’s throat. He bit his lip, dropped his head and kissed the corner of Jared’s mouth, the edge of his chin. He curled his hands in fists at Jared’s shoulders, and breathed out Jared’s name every time Jared moved up, harder, pushed against him more.   
  
“I didn’t know,” Jared panted. He curled a big hand around Jensen’s neck, and tugged him closer. Jensen was close again – he needed something, he didn’t even know what. Jared’s hands or fingers or voice – something right there - _there_ \- god—“I got you, Jen, come on,” Jared whispered. His hand slipped down Jensen’s back, pressing him down harder, stronger. “Baby, yeah, just—“  
  
Jensen tightened his fingers around Jared’s cock, squeezed his fist, and came all over Jared’s belly. Jared was still hard, and Jensen was gasping for breath, wheezing, kissing Jared’s mouth, wet and messy and Jared jerked and moaned and came underneath him a minute later.   
  
Jensen could barely fucking move. He didn’t remember the last time he’d been so thoroughly fucked out, had his insides so completely twisted to shreds by someone like Jared had done. Jensen didn’t know what any of this meant, what the two of them were going to do or how they were going to act in the morning, but for now, all he wanted was to roll over, close his eyes, and get some sleep.   
  
He felt Jared kiss his shoulder before giving him a little push. “You’re crushing my arm, man,” Jared said. His voice was scratchy and low. “Come on, Jen. Gimme some room.”  
  
Jensen smiled sleepily. “All right, dude, shut up.” He could hear Jared laughing quietly, then felt the covers being tugged up around their bodies.   
  
“Go to sleep. I’ll wake you up in the morning,” Jared said quietly. Before he could even answer, Jensen was asleep.  
 


	3. Chapter 3

**-Part 3-**  
  
  
  
The car was picking Jensen up at five AM so when Jared started shoving him at four-thirty, Jensen couldn’t even complain.   
  
“God, this blows.” Jensen rubbed a hand over his face and scratched his stomach. He felt sticky and gross from the night before, and needed a shower badly.   
  
“Dude, I don’t even have to be up yet so you can fucking bite me,” Jared mumbled.   
  
Jensen rubbed a hand over his face and tried to grin. “Shut up.”   
  
Jared just shoved Jensen’s shoulder until he was falling out of the bed. The floor was cold against his bare feet and he felt his toes curl. Freaking Vancouver mornings. “Go away, Jensen,” Jared whined. “Go be my sugar daddy and work for a living.”  
  
Jerkoff. Jensen flipped him the bird, but he wound up getting out of bed and into the shower with no time to spare. He was throwing his clothes on when he glanced out the bedroom window and saw his car pulling up to the curb.   
  
Jensen grabbed his sunglasses and keys and closed the bedroom door quietly behind him. Jared was already snoring, and he made a quick pit stop to the kitchen to fill up the dogs’ water bowls, scratch them on the heads while they were sleeping, and slip out the door into the crisp, morning air.   
  
*  
  
Being on set at five meant hanging around in hair and makeup until seven, and then talking to every writer, director, helper, tech and aide on set until nearly noon about Jared and the accident. After a few hours Jensen wished he’d thought of recording a standard response he could just replay every time someone new asked him how Jared was, or maybe holding a conference to talk to them all at once. By the time Jensen’s day was over, he’d shot three filler scenes and talked about Jared for seven hours straight.   
  
Which wasn’t the best way to try and keep your best friend who you’d just had sex with the night before off your mind, Jensen was now realizing.   
  
Not that he was trying to do that – keep Jared off his mind at all – because he wasn’t. He was completely fine with everything that had happened. Fuck. They were _guys_ for Christ’s sake, and guys? Liked to get laid. This wasn’t news.   
  
So him and Jared had fucked around a few times now. It didn’t mean anything. Didn’t change anything. Jensen being all twitchy and checking his watch every twenty minutes, trying to wait until it was late enough to call Jared was just because he was worried about Jared being by himself in the house all day, not for any other reason. Jared would be fine when Jensen called him. Acting perfectly normal. Like nothing strange or out of the ordinary had happened.   
  
Jensen made it until one in the afternoon before taking his break and calling Jared from the couch in his trailer.   
  
Jared answered on the third ring, sounding breathless and winded. “Hey.”  
  
“Are you all right?” Jared sounded awful, like he was panting and having trouble catching his breath. Jensen was already fumbling around looking for his jacket. He knew it was a mistake to leave Jared by himself so soon. He had to tell Eric that he needed to get the hell out of here as soon as they were done for the day. Actually, fuck it. They were done now.  
  
“Yeah, Jensen, calm down.” Jared took another deep breath, then blew it out slowly. “I was taking a piss. Left the phone in the bedroom.”  
  
Jensen flopped back onto the couch and leaned his head back. He was worse than his mother. “Oh.”  
  
“Yeah,” Jared said, probably around one of his goofy smiles. “Oh.” He laughed quietly for a minute, and Jensen felt his face heat. God, he was a loser. “So hey, how’s work? What’s going on?”  
  
Jensen smiled. At least Jared wasn’t giving him shit. He told him about the ninety million questions about how Jared was doing, how he was feeling, when he was coming back. “It’s pretty annoying, to be honest.”  
  
“Oh, yeah?”  
  
“Yeah, man. No one gives a crap about me at all. All they want to know about is your ugly mug.” Jensen laughed as he said it. Things were fine. They were talking easy, relaxed, nothing at all like Jensen had his dick in Jared’s mouth the night before.  
  
“Blow me, bitch,” Jared teased, and it was like every easygoing thought and feeling that was between them came screeching to a stop.   
  
Did Jensen laugh and say “Later,” to Jared, and then follow up on it? Did Jared _want_ him to? Did Jensen say, “You wish” and have Jared take it to mean Jensen thought Jared was into him? _Was_ Jared into him? And also, when the fuck did Jensen turn into a chick?  
  
Instead, Jensen cleared his throat, and asked Jared what he wanted for dinner that night. Because he was just that smooth.   
  
“Uhm, I don’t know. Steak maybe?” Jared asked. “Nothing takeout. I’m getting sick of that crap.”  
  
Jensen cleared his throat and got up from the couch. He wanted this conversation over, now. “Steak. Perfect. I’ll do some errands after work and then head to the store. We’ll toss them on the grill later, all right?”  
  
“Yeah, cool.” Jared sounded fine, his voice easy as anything again, but the whole thing was too close for Jensen’s comfort. He needed space, and he needed it soon.   
  
Later, he’d talk to Jared about it. For now he had to finish work and pretend he was a normal human for the day. It was a good thing he was a pretty decent actor.   
  
*  
  
Jensen left work and decided to stop by his apartment to pick up a few things. The mail had piled up since the last time he’d been home, and he flipped through the circulars and sale catalogs for a few minutes before tossing them all into the trash.   
  
Most of his everyday stuff was at Jared’s since he’d been staying there. All his hair stuff, shaving kit, most of his everyday clothes and sneakers and shoes. He’d brought over a bunch of CD’s and DVD’s in the first week Jared had been laid up, and in the two weeks following every time he stopped by the apartment Jensen would grab a few more things for them to watch or listen to. By now all that was left was half a closet of out of season clothes, his guitar, and his appliances.   
  
It was crazy he hadn’t brought over the guitar yet. That was one of the things Jensen liked to do best to wind down at night; just sit on the bed and play some random cords, fuck around with the tunes and lyrics rolling around in his head. He grabbed the guitar case from the corner of the room and was halfway out the door when it hit him like a blow to the head.   
  
All his stuff would be at Jared’s now. _All_ of it. And this – none of this was permanent. Jensen had to remember that.   
  
He walked back into the apartment and laid the guitar on the couch. Jared was getting better. In a few weeks he wouldn’t need Jensen there at all, and Jensen should be starting to move his crap _out_ of Jared’s place, not in.   
  
Jensen pulled the door closed and locked it behind him. He’d better keep reminding himself of that.   
  
*  
  
Jared was sitting on a deck chair, with his arms stretched out over his head, watching Jensen poke the ribeyes he’d picked up at the store. There was a salad chilling in the refrigerator, and two potatoes wrapped in foil cooking on the grill with the steaks. Jensen sipped his beer, chuckling softly as Jared frowned at him from his seat.   
  
“Totally unfair, you standing here, drinking my beer, when I can’t have any.” Jensen cracked up. Jared was practically _pouting_.   
  
Jensen waved the neck of the bottle toward Jared’s outstretched leg. “Broken leg? Bigass cast? Any of these things ringing a bell to you?”  
  
“Whatever,” Jared snapped. “Fucking bullshit.”  
  
Jensen finished his beer and tossed the bottle in the trash can. Harley and Sadie heard the clang of glass against metal, and stopped their running and jumping in the yard to come bounding up the steps and pant at Jensen’s feet. He covered the grill and bent down, scratching them both behind the ears.   
  
“You wanna play? Come on. Go get me the ball. Go!” Jensen clapped his hands together and the dogs leapt in the air and raced down the steps, tripping over each other to go find the ball in the grass. Jensen was grinning happily until he looked up to find Jared shooting daggers at him with his eyes. “Shit, man. What’s your problem?”  
  
“Nothing, just—“ Jared ran a hand through his hair and huffed. “I’m just sick of this – all this shit. Sitting around, not working, you having to cook and play with the dogs and they don’t even fucking care anymore that I’m—“  
  
“Wait a minute. Are you jealous of me and your _dogs_?” Jensen shook his head. This was crazy, even for Jared. Nutcase. “Dude. They’re _your_ dogs. You don’t have to worry about me—“ and when he said it like that, it hit Jensen again, all at once.   
  
They _were_ Jared’s dogs. Jared’s house. Jared’s life. And Jensen was his friend, sure, but soon this was going to be over – Jensen standing at the grill making them dinner and drinking Jared’s beer – and Jensen, man, he had to start _remembering_ that.  
  
Jensen cleared his throat. He could feel Jared watching him when he said, “You don’t have to worry about it, Jared. They still love you just fine.” As if on cue, Sadie came bouncing over to Jensen and dropped a slobbery ball at his feet. He picked it up and gently lobbed it in Jared’s direction for him to throw to the dogs instead.   
  
Jared lifted a hand on instinct and plucked the ball from the air. “Jensen, what—“  
  
“I’m gonna go put out the plates,” Jensen said, walking past Jared and heading straight for the house. He needed some space, some room, some time away from Jared and all the thoughts that were clogging his brain. “Food will be ready soon,” he told him, ignoring Jared’s confused expression and closing the house door behind him.   
  
*  
  
Jensen was lying on the bed in the guest room flipping through a few scripts he had lying around, when Jared knocked quietly on the door. He lifted his head to find Jared standing in the doorway awkwardly, leaning against the frame. Jensen sat up straighter and cleared his throat. Whatever this was about, it didn’t look good.   
  
“What’s up?” he asked, trying to sound as cool as he could. Jared had his hands curled into fists, and when he started coming further into the room, Jensen jumped up and took his arm, helping him over to sit on the corner of the bed. Jared was getting around a lot better in the weeks since the accident, but he was still unsteady when he tried to walk on his own without crutches.   
  
He smiled at Jensen when they were both sitting and ran a hand through his hair. “Thanks.”  
  
Jensen shrugged. That was what he was here for. He was about to tell Jared that, when Jared asked, “Jen, is everything all right?”  
  
“What? Yeah. Sure,” Jensen said quickly. “Fine.”  
  
“’Cause I want to be sure. I mean, if you have something you need to be doing or—“  
  
“I’m cool, Jared. I can stay until you’re better, no problem.”   
  
Jared was watching him with cool eyes. Jensen wished he could tell what Jared was thinking, read something from him, but when Jared wanted to keep his guard up and a blank face on, he was as good at it as Jensen was. Hell. Jensen wasn’t the only actor in this friendship.   
  
For a split-second, Jensen thought Jared was going to push it. He opened his mouth and went to talk, but then snapped it shut just as quickly and dropped his head. He didn’t say anything again until he was grunting and trying to push himself off the bed and he needed to thank Jensen for his help over to his own bedroom.   
  
“Thanks,” Jared said, and before Jensen could say anything at all, he added, “For everything.”  
  
Jensen didn’t know what the hell Jared meant. Thanks for all the help, but he didn’t need him anymore? Thanks for all the help, _plus_ the sex? It was enough to keep a dull pounding in Jensen’s head every waking minute of the day. Jared had a follow-up doctor’s appointment in a few days, and that was it. Jensen would see what he said, and then he was done. He couldn’t do this anymore.   
  
“No problem,” Jensen said, as he rapped his knuckles quietly on the door and backed out into the hall. He pinched the bridge of his nose and told himself that sleep would help, and maybe, in a few days, this would all be over.   
  
*  
  
Jensen had been back at work for a week when Jared insisted on coming in with him in the morning.   
  
“Dude,” Jensen said at ass o’clock thirty on a rainy Tuesday morning. “You’re supposed to be home resting.”  
  
“I _have_ been resting, Jensen. For a goddamn _month_. If I don’t get up and go out soon I swear to god I’m going to put a gun in my mouth.” He was trying to put on a light blue pullover and struggling the whole time. Jensen let him suffer for a minute before walking over and yanking it over his head, making his hair stand up in ten different directions. “I’m going crazy here all day by myself. When you were around it wasn’t so bad—“  
  
“Wow, Jared, you say the sweetest things.”  
  
“But now, man,” Jared narrowed his eyes and kept talking like Jensen hadn’t spoken. “I’m _bored_. If I watch one more crappy TV show my brains are gonna ooze out of my ears.”  
  
“It won’t make that much of a mess,” Jensen mumbled. He was grabbing his jacket off the dresser and shrugging into the sleeves.   
  
Jared was sitting on the edge of the bed, practically vibrating with energy. “I have to get out of here, dude. I’m losing my fucking mind.” And when he looked at Jensen with those wide, sad eyes, Jensen knew he was screwed.   
  
He rubbed a hand over his face and blew out a breath. “Fine,” he said, and heard Jared smack a hand against his thigh in the background. “I’ll call Eric and tell him you’re coming in.”  
  
*  
  
They got nothing done on the set that day. Every person that was working there now, had worked there in the past, or ever spoke more than two words to Jared in his life, were all sitting around, waiting for them to pull up. Jensen stuck by Jared’s side the whole day, making sure he had someone to lean on, a place to sit, a bottle of water and some bagels and muffins when the food tent opened up.   
  
By one in the afternoon, Eric threw his hands in the air, told Kim they’d shoot second unit instead, and piled Jared and Jensen into his van to take them to lunch. Jared was smiling wider than Jensen had seen in days, and if all it took to get him to be so happy again was getting him out of the house, Jensen would make sure to do that as much as Jared wanted.   
  
“You got the doctor soon again, right Jared?” Eric asked around a mouthful of fries. “Find out when you can be on your own again without Jensen around to babysit you every day?”  
  
Jensen was glad he was drinking at the time. It gave him something to do with his mouth other than talk, which might be a bad thing. Let Jared handle this one.   
  
“Tomorrow, yeah,” Jared said. His voice was quiet, and as much as Jensen wanted to turn his head and look at him, he focused on his burger and fries. Tomorrow was Jared’s doctor’s appointment and Jensen had no idea what the hell was going to happen then.   
  
*  
  
Jared was falling asleep on the couch at ten that night. Waking up early for the first time in weeks, added to a full day socializing with everyone on the set, then lunch out and errands for the rest of the day had him sprawled out and snoring on the cushions before the news was even on.   
  
Jensen put his hand on Jared’s good knee and shook him a little. “Jared, hey,” he said quietly. Harley lifted his head from where he was sleeping on the floor in front of the couch and gave a little whine. “Not you, ssh,” Jensen told him. Harley whimpered and put his head back down.   
  
This was it. The last night. Jensen knew, deep down, that after tomorrow he was going to leave. Jared was doing a thousand times better now than he had been. Hell, Jensen could have left weeks ago if he was being honest with himself. All he was doing now was hanging around Jared’s for the company – because it was Jared – and not because Jared really needed him anymore. Jensen could stop over a few times during the day if he wanted to, but the whole sleeping there every night, waking up in the same house every morning thing was pushing it.   
  
Jared stretched his arms out and blinked sleepily at him. His eyes were soft and unfocused, and he smiled gently at Jensen and reached out to grab Jensen’s arm. “Hey, c’mere—“  
  
Jensen stood up. He wasn’t doing this again. Once was a mistake, twice was starting a pattern, and if there was one thing in the world Jensen didn’t want to make a habit out of, it was having random sex with Jared whenever the itch struck one of them. Jensen couldn’t do it. He wasn’t _going_ to do it.   
  
“Come on, dude,” he said quietly. He took Jared’s hand and pulled until he was sitting up, watching Jensen with curious eyes. “Your appointment’s early tomorrow. Let’s get to sleep.”  
  
Jared licked his lips and Jensen had to look away. He could see how much Jared wanted this – maybe as much as Jensen did himself – but he was done. They couldn’t keep on like this, especially if Jensen was leaving tomorrow.   
  
“Jen,” Jared said. It sounded like a question, and Jensen just shook his head.   
  
“Bed.” Jensen helped Jared to his feet, then walked to the guest room alone.   
  
*  
  
Jensen should have known Jared wouldn’t leave it there. It was less than a few minutes – not even long enough for Jensen to fall asleep if he’d been trying (which he hadn’t) – and then Jared’s shadow was filtering in through Jensen’s open doorway, his breathing shallow and loud in the silent room.   
  
He didn’t say anything, not a single word, and then he was crossing the room and climbing into Jensen’s bed, kissing Jensen like he was underwater and desperate for air. Jared’s hands were frantic, pushing Jensen over, shoving their shirts up and their pants down, tossing clothes to every corner of the room, and all Jensen could do was kiss him back and try to hold on.   
  
“Jared – what—“  
  
“Don’t tell me no.” Jared’s voice was ragged. “Just don’t – don’t tell me no.”  
  
Jensen couldn’t stop him. He didn’t _want_ to stop him, and when everything would be said and done, at least Jensen knew he’d have this one last night. Tomorrow was going to end all of this for them, it had to, but for now, Jensen wanted. He wanted Jared and Jared was letting him have, take.   
  
He forced his eyes open, made himself watch the changes and angles of Jared’s face. The way he squeezed his eyes shut when Jensen brushed his hands over Jared’s chest, trailing his nails up and down his skin. Jared breathing with his mouth parted and open, his lips wet, cheeks flushed. His eyes fluttered open and closed, and every time he looked at Jensen, Jensen could see, he could tell how much Jared wanted this.   
  
Jared’s hand was huge and warm curled around his dick, calloused on the ridge of his thumb, and Jensen couldn’t stop bucking up into his touch. He twisted his hands on Jared’s waist, dragging him closer, and breathed wetly against Jared’s ear. “Come on, do it. God, I want—“  
  
“I want to fuck you,” Jared said, and heat ripped through Jensen’s blood. “But my fucking leg is all—“  
  
“I know, just—“ Jensen squeezed his eyes shut, and wrapped his fingers around Jared’s wrist, pulling his hand down, over his balls.  
  
Jared made a sound like he was choking or crying, and then his cock trailed hot and wet against Jensen’s hip, pulsing as he came. He pulled his hand back only long enough to slick his fingers up, and then his hand was back, pushing up and around, the tip of one big finger pressing wetly against Jensen while he bucked and moaned.   
  
“You want me to do this to you?” Jared whispered, dark and dirty against his skin. His lips were hot on Jensen’s neck, and when he bit down Jensen whispered a curse. “You’d let me do this, Jensen? Fuck you just like this, with my hand first,” Jared’s finger twisted and _pushed_ and Jensen saw stars behind his eyes. “Fuck you hard and deep, yeah. I want to put my mouth on you, Jen, fuck you open with my tongue, make you beg me for it.”   
  
With every word, Jared twisted his hand more, his fingers spread wide. Jensen felt like he was being fucked open, every inch of his skin, every part of his body, everything he was belonged to Jared, right here. He curled into him closer, his cock throbbing and hard pressed against Jared’s belly, his skin stretched too thin and tight and every part of his body, from his feet to his eyelashes, wanted to come so badly it hurt.   
  
“Come on,” Jared murmured. He opened his fingers again, and brushed against something that had Jensen’s eyes rolling unfocused in his head.   
  
“Do that again,” he panted, shivering when Jared did. Again and again and again, and that was it, Jensen couldn’t take any more. He needed more pressure against his dick, and he fisted his cock and jerked himself hard and rough. “Fuck, Jared, do it harder,” and Jared did. Pressed into him deeper, moaning against Jensen’s skin as Jensen bit his lip and came with a cry all over his fingers and Jared’s belly.   
  
Jensen’s heart wouldn’t stop pounding. He thought he was having a stroke. When he rolled over and onto his back, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to walk for at least a week, if the way his bones felt gave any indication.   
  
Jared’s forehead was sweaty where it pressed against Jensen’s shoulder. He felt Jared kiss him softly, and in a split-second everything changed.   
  
Jensen remembered everything. This was it. That was the last time.  
  
“’M’just gonna sleep here tonight, ‘k?” Jared mumbled. “You can wake me up to go to the doctor in the morning.”  
  
Jensen curled his arm around Jared’s shoulder and moved them so he was lying against Jensen’s chest more. He dropped a kiss on Jared’s head, smiling sadly when he realized Jared was already snoring softly.   
  
“Yeah, okay, Jared,” Jensen whispered. “I’ll wake you in the morning.”  
  
*  
  
Jensen was a horrible friend. There was no denying it.   
  
He was the worst. A bastard. A nasty son of a bitch. Someone who deserved every shitty thing that had ever happened to him, and double for the shitty things about to come.   
  
Jared was fine, healing perfectly, and Jensen was so aggravated about that he wanted to kill himself.   
  
He should be _happy_ his best friend was getting better. That his leg was healing, his arm was fine. That after a few months of exercises and therapy he’d be good as new as if the accident never happened. That was good news.   
  
So why, did hearing it, make Jensen want to do something irrational like kick a puppy in the head?  
  
Jared was in the passenger seat, dead silent, tapping out a weird rhythm against his thigh. He’d been staring out the window since they pulled out of the doctor’s office parking lot. Jensen hadn’t seen this side of his jaw so much in the past six weeks.   
  
“That’s great about your leg,” Jensen said. His throat was clogged. He sounded like he was dying. “I mean, cast coming off soon and everything.”  
  
Jared nodded and tapped his fingers against the window.   
  
“You must be really happy about—“  
  
“I’m actually kind of tired, Jensen,” Jared said, cutting him off. He flicked Jensen a look from the corner of his eye. Jensen swallowed and turned back to look at the road in front of him.   
  
If Jared didn’t want to talk that was fine with him. God knew what it took, but after six weeks the guy was finally shutting up.   
  
“Yeah,” Jensen said, tiredly. “Yeah, okay.”   
  
Not talking was good. It was fine. It’d just make it that much easier for Jensen to leave.   
  
*  
  
Jared went straight from the front door to the kitchen to feed the dogs. Jensen could hear them barking and jumping around on the tile floor. They didn’t even know he was there, probably, and that was fine with Jensen. He’d just get his shit together and slip out the back door. The last thing he needed was a sloppy goodbye with two over-active mutts.   
  
Jensen stood in the middle of the guest room and looked at all his stuff filling the closet and dresser drawers. There were stacks of his CDs on the night table. His car keys in a small, green dish on the computer desk. His old leather jacket hanging off the back of the computer chair.   
  
All of Jensen’s stuff in Jared’s house. Almost everything that Jensen owned, right here in this twenty-by-twenty guest room. God knew how it happened, but Jesus Christ, Jensen _lived_ here now.   
  
His stomach did a slow roll, then clenched up somewhere behind his rib cage. How the fuck did that even happen?  
  
“So, what. You’re good to go now?” Jensen turned around and found Jared leaning in the doorway, a bored expression on his face. The skin over his cheekbones was flushed hot, matching his dark red t-shirt. He was standing like normal, like the cast on his leg wasn’t even there. Jensen watched him for a second before looking away.   
  
“Yep. Looks like.”  
  
“Right.” Jensen could hear Jared’s footsteps behind him, walking halfway into the room and stopping. “That’s what last night was then, huh? Last fuck before you pick up and go?”  
  
They weren’t talking about this. Jensen wasn’t going to have this discussion. He grabbed an empty duffel bag from the floor beside his bed and started shoving random shirts and pants into it, whatever he could pick up first, crumpled and haphazard.   
  
“That’s cool. No problem,” Jared’s voice was low and teasing. “It didn’t mean anything anyway.”  
  
Jensen froze for a split-second. When he went to zip the bag his hand twitched. He knew it. He never should have let any of this happen.   
  
When he turned around, Jensen was impressed with how steady his voice sounded. “Right,” he said. He even managed to smile.   
  
“It was just sex. Just fucking around. We can forget it ever happened.”  
  
Jensen smirked. Inside, he felt like he was dying. “Never happened at all.”  
  
“We’re friends,” Jared said, moving closer. Jensen could see his eyes flash in anger. “That’s it.”  
  
“Right.” Jensen swallowed hard. Jared had to stop. Had to move away because Jensen couldn’t do this much longer.   
  
“I don’t give a shit about you at all, Jensen,” Jared finished with. His voice was soft as a secret.   
  
Jensen opened his mouth to tell Jared yeah, that’s what he was saying. He didn’t give a shit about Jared either and he never would. He went to speak, but his voice was clogged, a solid lump in his throat. When Jared grabbed his arm Jensen was expecting a punch or a shove, so when Jared pulled him closer Jensen stumbled and almost fell against Jared’s chest.   
  
“Jared, what the fuck—“  
  
“You’re such a fucking liar,” Jared whispered against his hair. “Such a fucking—“  
  
Jensen put his hands flat on Jared’s chest and pushed. When he lifted his head, Jared was full out smiling at him, his eyes sparkling and bright.   
  
“What?” Jensen felt drunk. He had no idea what was going on.   
  
Jared was touching his then; big hands on Jensen’s waist, up his back. His mouth was warm and soft on Jensen’s throat, slippery tongue sliding out to taste his skin. “I want you, Jensen.” Jared’s voice was low and round. “I want this.” He lifted his head and waited until Jensen was looking at him again to say, “I don’t want you to leave.”  
  
Jensen laughed, high-pitched and slightly hysterical. “Right. You’re fucking crazy.” He tried to step back but Jared wouldn’t let him. Just held his waist tighter and yanked Jensen closer.   
  
“I want you to stay,” Jared said against his ear. He set his teeth in Jensen’s skin, making him shiver and clutch at the back of Jared’s shirt. _Jesus_. “I want to fuck you right now on your bed, and then I want you to come to my room and fuck me right back.”  
  
“Jared—“  
  
“I want you to move in, and then I want to spend every night fucking you in every square inch of this place. The living room, the kitchen, on the grass in the backyard in the middle of the afternoon.” Jensen was shaking. He was so hard he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. His heart was tripping in his chest, and through it all, all he could think was, _Jared wants this too_.   
  
Jared dragged his lips up the side of Jensen’s face, before softly kissing his temple and pulling back to smile at him. “And anyway,” he added with a smirk. “The dogs are kind of used to you by now. They might miss you.”  
  
Jensen laughed. He couldn’t help himself. “I’m supposed to move in here because of the dogs?” He punched Jared’s chest, then moaned deep in his throat when Jared kissed him, hard and deep and perfect.  
  
“Come on, man,” Jared said. His lips were curved in a sweet smile and that was it. Jensen was done. “Say okay.”  
  
*  
  
Epilogue  
  
*  
  
Jensen dropped the bag of Italian takeout on the counter while Jared set up the DVD in the living room. The dogs jumped and barked at Jensen’s feet, and he bent down to scratch them behind the ears. Sadie nosed against his waist as he flipped through the mail stacked on the counter.   
  
Satellite TV bill. Electric bill. A vet reminder to Jared for the dogs shots. A card for Jensen from his mom.   
  
Jensen smiled dropped everything back down in a pile. Jared came into the kitchen and kissed the side of Jensen’s neck, then opened the back door to let the dogs out. They barked and jumped down the steps into the cool night air.   
  
The answering machine was blinking, so Jensen pressed it, hearing it beep then fill the room with Chad’s voice, scratchy and pissed off.   
  
_Jared, what the fuck, man? You haven’t called me back in weeks. You don’t give me a call soon and I’m gonna start thinking Jensen went all_ Misery _on your ass and chopped you up into pieces to hide under the floor boards. When I was there I didn’t notice your fucking fingers were broken, dude, so there better be some pretty good fucking explanation why--_  
  
Jared reached around Jensen to hit the erase button. Jensen grinned and leaned back against Jared’s chest. “You’re gonna have to call back him sooner or later, dude.”  
  
“Later then,” Jared said, kicking off his sneakers and turning Jensen around to bite at his jaw. He pushed Jensen back and braced his arms on either side of Jensen’s body. Jared was smiling, head dipped down, hair falling loose across his forehead. “After we add kitchen counter to the list.”  
  
“The list’s getting pretty full,” Jensen said around a smile.   
  
Jared pulled the shirt from Jensen’s jeans and smoothed his thumbs over his belly. He smiled wider when Jensen shivered and moaned under his hands, and Jensen was pretty sure he’d never stop being amazed that he had this, that this was them now. Him and Jared, the house, the dogs. All it had taken was one last stop back to the apartment he didn’t really live in anymore for his guitar and it was a done deal. It had been from the second Jared had asked.   
  
“Come on, man.” Jared gave Jensen a small shove, back against the counter, yanking his shirt off over his head.   
  
Jensen’s head banged hard into the cabinets. His side was numb from pressing against the refrigerator. Across the room their dinner was getting cold. The movie was already starting. And any minute from now the dogs would be barking and scratching at the door to be let back in.   
  
But Jared leaned in and kissed him then, big hands warm on Jensen’s waist, his mouth familiar now, smiling and wide.  
  
Jensen had never been happier.   
  
  
-END-  
 


End file.
